Hobbies - Poetry - Anonymous
Some Kind Of Magic...

    I sat beside you,
    Closed my eyes,
    Seeing you thirty years ago,
    Thirty... or so...
    Your skin the cool smoothness of a mountain lake on a starlit windless summer night,
    Your eye's depth of blue, depth of warmth, depth...
    Your body, the endless vineyard of sweetest of love's grapes,
    Your mouth... oh, your mouth...
    That ferocious trap cutting through my lips like sharpest of steel knives...

    I opened my eyes,
    Looked at you,
    Thirty years later... how did you do it?
    The smoothness of skin,
    The depth of eye,
    The taste of your body,
    The mouth... oh, the ferocity of that mouth...
    Is it some kind of magic?
    Is there?

    There certainly is.
    In my mind, in my eyes, in my heart.

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Dance...

    Dancing with you,
    Feeling your skin sliding inside the smooth silken sheath enslaving it,
    One shoulder strap fallen baring the smoothness of a thin shoulder,
    My left hand's fingers twined with your right hand's
    Feeling the fingers' metal decorating ribbons click against each other
    While hanging loose at the side of your body
    Touching from time to time your thigh
    And feeling the rippling muscles along it,
    My right hand low on your back,
    Your low cut allowing my fingers the warm taste of skin stretched on your spine...
    And lower,
    Playfully pulling at the robe's fragile seam lines
    Almost tearing them apart,
    Your undulating waist realising in my mind something between hypnosis
    And sea sickness,
    Our knees, touching, separating, touching
    While our thighs push against each other
    Time fleetingly, time lengthwise,
    Time your hip squeezing teasingly into my body
    Lighting me, burning me...
    I feel your breasts pushing against my shirt, my chest,
    Your nipples hard against the fabric testing its strength
    And testing my mind's sanity,
    My head buried in the forest of your artistically disarrayed hair
    While my mouth bites softly your ear,
    Your mouth touches softly my cheek
    And the end of your tongue tastes my pungent after shave,
    Your right hand light behind my head
    Ruffling the short hair at the nape of my neck
    Sending tingling sensations through my body,
    Hurling killing emotions into my chest...
    The music soft,
    The light soft,
    In our ears, in our minds,

    The music never ending,
    In our hearts.
    May I dance you through life, my love?...

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Illusion...

    I tried to find you... something hurt...
    The tender raging craving... "Love... I'm here, my heart please pardon..."
    You smiled. "You fool... I love you. Come..."
    And summer roams my garden...

    *

    I tried to tell you something sweet,
    Rich smells of menthe burning your skin like velvet's longing fingers,
    You did not hear. The bitter taste
    Of menthe in verses lingers.

    I tried to write you something wild,
    Desire's fists ripping your breasts with countless tender roses,
    You did not see. The clawing touch
    Of thorns soft pain imposes.

    I tried to rhyme you something strange,
    Sun roving robins in your mind a forest's drunken clearing,
    You did not feel. The rasping sound
    Of morn the landscape shearing.

    *

    I tried to leave you... something hurt...
    The bitter clawing rasping... "Love... I leave, my heart please pardon..."
    You smiled. "You fool... I love you. Stay..."
    And summer roams my garden...

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Pure...

    Drizzle.
    You pull tight the impermeable jacket around your middle,
    Uncaring about your hair,
    Your bare feet,
    Just the jacket around your middle,
    Tight,
    Protecting the life growing in there,
    Caring,
    And the hell with the rest, the rest wants to enjoy the rain...

    The soft drizzle,
    Mist size droplets
    Penetrating to the roots of your hair
    Accumulating to pearl size drops
    And then rolling down your neck, into your collar,
    Down along your spine,
    Their touch so much like the tips of his fingers...
    Shivers... your skin crawling with the pleasure of the memory...

    I love grey!... you feel like shouting
    And the imposing uniformly grey landscape above your head
    Welcomes your uplifted face
    Allowing the water laden branch above your head to give way under the weight,
    Bending,
    And suddenly granting freedom to a cascade of small rivulets to fly down to earth
    Their short lived excitement,
    Passing by your eyes, your laughing open mouth, your stretched fingers...
    Ouch... you wince,
    A tiny foot kicking your belly from the inside
    Then going to sleep again...

    Pregnant at forty six,
    You're a fool your friends tell you,
    You are insane your grown up kids tell you
    Before leaving with their wives and your grandchildren back to their homes
    Leaving you in the big empty house with the cat and the fifty three year old parrot,
    Ha, you are older than me, you shouted cheerfully at the dumb bird
    Before venturing into the rain
    And compensated with a generous portion of sugared seeds,
    His preferred treat....

    And you, lover, you interrogate your memory,
    What is your preferred treat except for my lips, and my breasts, and my?...
    You explode in laughter as you step into a puddle and mud squishes up your thighs.
    Who is the father? asked indignantly your daughter in law,
    If John was here... she adds,
    But John is not here and I am alive, you think
    And smile at her while she munches on your ninth peanut butter cookie,
    And you are a bit overweight my dear, you say
    Watching her two hundred twenty pounds frame getting up indignantly
    Taking your son's hand in her left hand and a tenth cookie in her right and leaving.

    Quiet. So quiet. The drizzle outside so inviting, you simply could not resist.
    You had to join.

    You joined.
    As happy as a five year old playing forbidden games,
    Games of rain,
    Games of love,
    Games of love,
    Games of love...
    Who is the father?... you repeat in your mind
    Laying cool wet fingers on the stretched skin of your belly,
    Who is your father?...

    The rain feels warm.
    You remove the jacket,
    Open the zipper and lovingly lay down the dress in a pool of mud,
    Take off bra, panties,
    Naked like the mighty trees around you
    You lift your head to the sky
    And remembering long forgotten ballet lessons
    Start pirouetting on outstretched toes...
    The father is the man I will die loving,
    The sweet rain in my life,
    The torrential music in my ears,
    The owner of the life grain seeded in my belly...
    The father is the only man whom I offered to touch my body
    After he offered me to touch my heart...

    The drizzle pours on.
    Your eyes are closed
    Welcoming the help offered by the picking rain
    Into creating the sweeping deluge of tears streaming down your cheeks, your hair,
    Your protruding belly
    And drowning mother earth in so much happiness...

    A tiny foot deforms again your perfection.
    You touch the spot and bring the fingers to your lips.
    Soon, my prince,
    Soon you will know love like none has ever known.
    Except for me.
    I love you.

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Terminal Love...

(Pure. The Prequel...)

    Three years ago.
    Even your silence is poetry, I told her.
    But I am never silent, she protested.
    You sleep, I said, don't you?

    Silence.
    I could hear her fingers freezing above the keyboard,
    Her eyes reading again the words on the screen
    Trying to penetrate a meaning she was unsure of,
    Closing her eyes and remembering earlier remarks shy, irrelevant, revealing,
    Scratching the cat between the ears
    Then suddenly feeling her heart losing its regular step
    As she penetrated the riddle's inner core...
    Her eyes returned to the screen
    No longer averting their regard from what she knew is there, is coming,
    Allowing it to happen by laying out the first lines herself...

          ...When the silent western gateways
          Waken up from daylong slumber
          Stretching lazy fire fingers
          Long horizons painted amber,
          Slides, reluctantly obeying,
          The majestic ball of fury,
          Liquid hell pleading for mercy
          From a ruthless heaven's jury...

    ...said the poet, she wrote.

          ...Let my rays' thin spider fabric
          Linger back a lonely instant
          Time my bulk through yawning ocean
          Sinks to worlds a nightlife distant,
          And while white's eternal colors
          Dress this mortal's raving petals,
          I will flare one timeless eon
          As her passion my heart nettles...

    ...said the sun, said the poet, said I, I wrote.

    Her eyes riveted to the screen,
    Hoping not to see, knowing she will see,
    Yearning for a reality molded into a frozen dream,
    Magnificent, dead, like a masterpiece.

    Marry me... I said.
    You know I cannot... she said.
    I know you cannot. Love me... I said.
    You know I do... she said.
    I know you do... I said.

    Three years ago. Three years day and day.
    Love unending.
    She said the words,
    I rhymed them,
    She colored her moods in her words,
    Times a girl, times a forest,
    Times an autumn day chasing unbearable summer heat
    With sparkling moist breaths
    Born depth of musty wells bordered by blooming daffodils...
    Blue daffodils... I rhymed...
    Yellow... she chimed...
    Blue, I insisted, blue, like the white of your teeth, like the red of your lips...
    Blue, she agreed, like the crystal of your eye, like the golden thread of your love...

    For long days the screen would stay blank,
    A blinking cursor beating with mathematical accuracy each so and so seconds,
    An empty mailbox, a pain at the bottom of a deep pit hidden inside my belly,
    And then suddenly thousands of suns
    Bursting like tons of popcorn in a forest fire magnified to cosmic dimensions
    Filling my screen with screams of pleasure, of fascination,
    Interminable excuses as sweet as a virgin's first cry of delight
    That so few have ever had the right to hear,
    And kisses, so many, raging, intoxicating, delirious death in a shattering embrace...

    Ending with a question. Always.
    Do you love me?
    Turning off the screen. Always.
    Before I had time to answer.
    Afraid of the answer. Knowing the answer. Telling me the answer next time.
    You do.

    Three years ago. Three years day and day. Three years now.
    Yesterday.

    We never met, she said.
    We never met, I agreed.
    We never touched, she said.
    We never touched, I agreed.

    The never line, the line I feared beyond reason,
    The nightmare seeded in each of my ecstatic dreams
    Now finally showing signs of life on its own,
    Our enthralling garden finally giving in through one long neglected corner
    To an all powerful weed threatening the lanes, the trees,
    And most of all the flowers, oh, the flowers...

    We will never meet, she said,
    I did not respond.
    We will never touch, she said.
    I did not respond.
    I could hear her fingers flying softly above the keyboard,
    Hardly touching,
    Rare, lonely drops of rain hitting randomly one of the keys
    And splashing crystallizing salt sparks upon the unblinking screen.
    My mind's eye lowered its eyelid,
    Imagining her delicate hand
    Holding a long white shapely feather between her fingers,
    Dipping it from time to time in blue-violet ink
    And branding small words in impeccable calligraphy on a piece of satin paper...
    A queen in love with the accused delivering her sentence...
    A death sentence...

    Don't answer, my screen will be off as you do,
    I will never know your answer,
    I don't want to know your answer,
    I love you too much for an answer.
    You gave me life,
    So much life,
    An exquisitely exotic garden of words garnered at petals' rims,
    Decorating oddly shaped leaves,
    Hanging onto the flowing mists undeciphered messages
    Waiting for a magic wand to turn them into colorful fountains of warmth...
    All I gave you is but time. Loss. Time.
    There is so much life in you,
    So much joy,
    So much need for a woman's subtle breeze

          To blow raging fires in your hidden desires,
          To merge in your nights with your body's delights,
          To shave your day's stubble and sooth your heart's rubble...

    My last mail. Don't cry.
    I do.
    I cannot stand your pain.
    I am but a screen,
    Cold to the touch, silent, breathless,
    You don't see my smile, you don't hear my sigh,
    So far away.
    Unreachable,
    Non existent, a dream we had,
    We cannot have.
    You are so warm,
    Passion flows so freely through your veins...

    Oh, the flourishing storms in my mind so hurtful...

    Warmth you need,
    A warm woman you need, warm, close, warm,
    There,
    They are,
    Waiting for you,
    Close to you, to your touch, to your need,
    To a body locked away from life for three long years

          To love you, oh, madly,
          For hours and years,
          To kiss, oh, so gladly,
          Your sadness and fears,
          To share in your death
          When the sun rises west
          Your lips to her breath,
          Your hand to her breast...

    You are free.

    The screen went blank.
    Nooo... I screamed, you witch, you life, you love...
    How did you do it,
    What kind of trick is that,
    Oh, back... please come back,
    Please...

    But the cursor kept blinking at its mathematically calculated corner,
    With its mathematically calculated accuracy,
    Counting accurately the flood of life leaving my body
    And evaporating through my fingertips.

    *

    A knock at the door.
    She opened.
    Blue lines decorating the wasted gardens underneath her eyes
    Like a field of bluebells growing wild along a rift in the landscape.
    She signed the registered letter,
    Big red warning words on the envelope about the futility of tax evasion,
    Crime, punishment...
    She sighed, tired, numb. Opened the envelope.
    A narrow long piece of paper fell to the carpet.
    She picked it up.
    One word written on it. Ring.
    She closed her eyes,
    Waited. Minutes. Hours. A smile frozen on her lips.
    Then she took the narrow piece of paper,
    Dropped a point of glue on it
    And wrapped it around the second from left finger of her left hand.
    She knew the choice is out of her hand,
    The magic was working,
    There was no volition in the move that
    With a sharp snapping sound
    Turned the screen on.
    No volition... so why were there thousands of horses running wild
    In the desert of her chest?

    The message waiting for her on the screen said
    Lover,
    Do you admire my sleight of hand
    Or are you ready to bite my head off
    In one of those wonderful excesses of fury
    You never showed me you are capable of?
    Even when I angered you terribly.
    You always forgave me,
    Do you forgive me now?

    I followed your advice. Seriously,
    Don't you believe me?
    Listen.
    I met this gorgeous, tall, shapely blonde,
    I told her I am a poet,
    She immediately unzipped my pants,
    Took them off
    And started going through my pockets.
    I told her I am poor.
    Then she slapped me
    And left. Took my pants with her.

    She stopped for a moment,
    The smile getting to life, cutting deeper into her face,
    The whiteness of shyly hiding teeth showing...

    I didn't give up. I don't give up so easily, you know me.
    I met this gorgeous, tall, shapely blonde,
    No... no, another one.

    By now the smile turned into puppy laughter,
    Rolling tears burning round holes into the carpet
    Before sizzling away into phosphorescent nothingness.

    I told her I am a poet.
    She immediately unzipped her pants,
    Took them off
    And showed me the poem tattooed on her butt's left cheek,
    The side of the heart...

    I  AM  BAD
    I  LOVE  DED

    I pointed the spelling mistake to her.
    Then she slapped me.
    And left. Leaving her pants with me.

    She reached the bottom line on the screen,
    By now laughing hysterically,
    Rolling on the floor
    With the cat chasing angrily the beads rolling from her eyes
    And magically vanishing at claw's touch.
    She stopped. Frightened.
    The following screen waiting to be pushed up.
    All she had to do is push one key.
    She pushed the key.

    It started
    Child,
    If it was this world's reality that I was looking for
    I would have found it. Easily.
    If it was dancing, loving, making love
    I could have found it. Easily.
    If I could not have waited eternity
    I would not have made the first three years steps of eternity's road...
    And now six more months since you disappeared.

    I wanted the legend,
    You gave me the legend.
    I wanted the queen,
    You made me a knight.
    I wanted the passion,
    You poured upon me turmoil, fire, hell, life.
    I wanted you.
    One day, you will give me... you.

    She closed her eyes.
    There was more text on the screen,
    She did not have to read it. She knew it.
    Not even wondering how.
    She huddled in the long sofa's corner,
    Knees to chin,
    Hands around knees,
    Pale lips softly reciting his unseen words...

          Worlds ago, in molded armor down my muscles' ire shaped,
          Wild my mount, the bastard stallion son to mare by tempest raped,
          Light my sword forged depth of sunset bearing magic long its blade,
          Huge the dragon's coiling fury, small the riding gentle maid.

          Maiden, your's the choice of battle, craves my heart your tender breast,
          Say the word and magic guide me carving heart off dragon chest,
          Say the word and if your wish is I will breach my blade times three,
          On my knees I'll pray your beauty as your dragon's slaying me...

    More, there is more...

          Worlds ago, the stardom fury shaped its army's scoreless ways,
          Mighty fire raging pebbles strewn long ropes of braided rays,
          I, the sun, immortal soldier, blazing glare my warring trade,
          Teeming mindless life my kingdom, and one smiling gentle maid.

          Maiden, your's the choice of kingdom, craves my heart your tender lips,
          Say the word and barren planets I'll emblaze to flying ships,
          Say the word and if your wish is trade my hell to candle flame,
          As your lips I touch in wonder softly breathe and wipe my name...

    There is more, does she dare?...

          Days ago, my face unshaven framing clouds beneath my eyes,
          Steady fingers wording anger under torment's strutting vise,
          Wild the manner I decided past the edge to soar and fade,
          Restful... calm... she touched my fingers, oceans far the gentle maid.

          Maiden, your's the choice of morrow, craves my heart your tender life,
          Say the word and born be legends... knight's... and sun's... and poet's wife...
          Say the word and if your wish is I will dry my ink's last rhyme,
          Never more to sing your beauty, never more, till start of time...

    She opened her eyes,
    Got up,
    Went to the screen and to the message waiting for her,
    Clear, unambiguous, sharp.

    Child,
    Say the word.

    *

    I was lying on the floor,
    My eyes fixed to the yellowish bulb,
    The incandescent wire slightly vibrating.
    I knew when.
    I did not know if,
    I did not know what.
    I heard the first beep. The if was answered.
    I waited.
    I heard a second one. Then a third.
    Then quiet.
    I waited. Shivering. Something was wrong,
    Not three, she knows, not three,
    Three is wrong,
    She knows three is wrong.
    I need one more beep, girl.
    Mercy, please have mercy.

    I remained lying on the floor one more hour.
    Hoping. Praying. Giving up.
    I went to the screen.
    Yellow incandescence patches dancing in front of my eyes,
    Three characters waiting for me,
    Indifferent.
    I stared blindly at the three Xs hiding my life,
    Then clicked them one by one.
    I-D-O
    I dared blink
    Just as a smiley preceded message started rolling in...

    You asked for one single word, didn't you?...

    She ripped my sanity,
    She raved my heart.
    She ravished my life.

    I love you.

    I still wonder... who of us said it?...

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Evasive Memories...

    I hear them roving in my mind
    Through pathways partly hidden,
    Evasive memories from times
    Of lust, of love forbidden.

    In eyes unseeing leaving trace,
    Torn chapters with no story,
    Faltering streaks of drifting pain,
    Receding gusts of glory.

    From time to time inside my chest
    I hear lamenting rumble,
    I wonder, smiling, love or life
    Will be the first to crumble?

    *
    Of sudden... how?... whence comes this tune
    This sweeping gale unending,
    The ripping caress... with one touch
    My bleeding spirit mending?...

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Did You Lose Your Way?...

    Did you lose your way
    Somewhere, in the wilderness of real life
    Along the path leading to that secluded place
    I was waiting for you?
    Did reality's hooks bite into your flesh
    And with one painful jerk
    Pull you back to the neatly paved road
    Leading so clearly from one nowhere
    To another?

    Shall I open my vein
    And mark your way
    With haze surrounded blood drops
    Like in old fashioned kids' stories,
    Over hills, down valleys,
    Over seas?...
    Do you think you will be able to find them in the sea?
    Not that it matters
    As, with the last drop leaving my body,
    Fathoms deep my body will sink,
    Sea water filling my emptied veins,
    Fishes nestling in my emptied eyes,
    Sand slowly sifting through my emptied heart.

    The sound of your heels hollow on the pavement
    As you drag your living carcass
    Through shops, through theatres, through beds,
    The sound of chains muffled to the ears,
    Visible in your eyes
    As you wade on,
    Elegant, proud, broken.

    When was it that you suddenly heard the silence?
    Was it? Will it be?
    Shedding your hooks,
    Pieces of flesh still clinging to the unforgiving steel
    Prey to buzzards and scorn,
    Your pain invisible, receding,
    Your gait careless, ecstatic as you rediscover your freedom
    And wanting eyes desperately start questing the trail...

    When the first drop you will find
    Let your smile be warm and kind,
    When one hundred drops you've kissed
    Find the three that you have missed,
    At two hundred... fades the trace
    And your eyes dress teardrop lace
    As through waist-deep grass you wade
    And your visions slowly fade...

    Girl, oh girl, deny your tear,
    Let my whisper find your ear,
    Let my flower prick your skin,
    Let my caress cleanse your sin,
    Call, and empty veins will roar,
    Empty eyes defy will pour,
    And an empty heart will wake
    Forging sand to crystal lake.

    As this smile your body rips
    Crystal rain will touch your lips.

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Lifeline...

    Life,
    The vise gripping your body
    In its inevitable embrace,
    Its tentacles sunk deep in your flesh,
    Feeding on you,
    Keeping you alive as long as you serve its purpose
    Then ready to throw your empty shell away.
    Symbiosis,
    Unjust, uneven,
    Giving you in return breath...
    And pain...
    Terrible, unimaginable pain...

    You looked up at me,
    Waiting, not asking,
    Waiting for a nod of my head,
    Was your wait long?
    Fractions of a second?
    I nodded,
    You hesitated
    While I took your hand holding the lifeline
    And guided it to my chest,
    Opened my shirt
    And let you plug it into my heart...

    To share the life,
    To share the pain,
    Sharing the love.

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Hungry...

    I'm hungry for you, you said.
    Your desire's entrails rumbling loud,
    Your mellow voice sliding slowly over my skin,
    Soaking into my flesh
    Like thick boiling honey, softening its texture,
    Readying it for the supreme sacrifice
    When I lie down on your plate
    And your mouth tortures me into voluntary submission
    To the ripping sound of salivating teeth
    To the crawling insistence of a rasping tongue
    To the sublime pleasure of being nibbled to death
    While regarding the cannibalistic satisfaction in your fixed gaze
    As you gulp mouthfuls of me.

    Your hunger satisfied
    You fall asleep by my side,
    My ear on your stomach,
    Listening...

    Quiet.

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Dreams, Reality...

    If I were a bird I would sore through the temples of your soul,
    My mighty wings would caress your heart with the gentleness of an angel's shadow,
    My talons would carry you away to a distant garden created out of pieces of my heart.
    There, I would sing to you all the colors of my love,
    We would share a forbidden devoted passion the world has not yet known,
    You would bless me with the seeds of life
    I would build a nest for my eggs
    And protect them with my very being.
    The garden would flourish with love, happiness, and new life.
    You would stand tall and proud,
    You would stay, knowing no other was ever loved so selfishly,
    So wanting, so adoringly... so ultimately.

    But alas, I am not a bird,
    Just a woman who lives on the wings of passion in her mind
    Fed by the fervor of a man's heart that can never be caged...
    Yet, both existing... somehow in the painful reality of another world.
    Secretly grabbing any tiny pieces that we can,
    Misplaced... born the wrong time and place...
    Soul mates who will never be complete,
    Living in two different worlds,
    Abridged by one heart.
    Do not cry for me for I am not sad.
    It would be sad if we had not found each other.
    In a world full of injustice, we found a secret garden to share.
    If you listen carefully, you can hear the melodies of love from within.
    ...Forever and a day my love...

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Beauty...

    Beauty,
    So personal,
    Can I define it the way you want it,
    Is it impressions, colors, memories you want,
    Is it a rolling whisper
    Sweeping you off your feet, smashing your body into thousands of sparks
    Igniting your imagination
    Dragging you through thorn fields
    Crushed flowers sticking to your naked body
    Dressing it in never woven crumbling petals?
    Beauty,
    Not sure I can define it any way,
    Is it definable?

    That day,
    Long ago,
    When aged eight I faced my most cruel enemy,
    Three years older,
    The one that shoved his finger in my face scoffing at my difference
    And making it sound an aberration
    Till I bent down raking the frozen snow with rigid fingers
    And hitting him in the eye,
    Falling to the ground with a pack of mad human cubs on my back
    Rubbing my face in the melting ice, punching my body,
    The pain soaking into my flesh...
    The beauty of the pain, of being cut down when refusing to bend...
    Is this the beauty you are looking for?...

    The girl aged thirteen,
    Same as me,
    When the sudden wind billowed her skirt upwards
    Inviting my eyes to a momentary view of pale knobby legs
    Ending in a pair of boyish looking briefs
    Colored white with red dots,
    Before she desperately pulled the skirt down
    Looking at me, begging with no words that I do not laugh
    At her tear filling eyes,
    And blushing to my ears I did not,
    The beauty of innocence waking up to life...
    Is this the beauty you are looking for?...

    My mother's hands,
    A lifelong of hard work encrusted into the rough fingers
    Ending in fire red nail polish
    Peeling around the edges
    Now finally at rest
    Unresponding to my hand's squeeze
    As she lay comatose on the large hospital bed
    Not listening to my begging words
    To return home before it is too late to return anywhere,
    Then listening to my begging words that she leaves
    Before withering amongst the tubes forest invading her privacy
    With the callous indifference of a plastic soul,
    My mother's fingers memory...
    Is this the beauty you are looking for?...

    A woman's love,
    One I never saw, never touched, never kissed,
    Living with me a lifetime of words,
    Phrases,
    Rhymes clashing mid of thoughts' highways
    Filling the void within with undulating whispers
    Promising an eternity to come once the irrelevancies of reality die away
    In their flesh drawers
    Making place for a raging passion immeasurable by human artifice
    Pulling God's sleeve and asking for recognition
    Of a fire never to be consumed, never to be started,
    A woman's love, waiting to never happen...
    Is this the beauty you are looking for?...

    Beauty,
    So many ways,
    Do you think I touched the essence of even one single letter?

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Letters, One...

    She looks at me, questioning.
    I smile,
    I smile at another woman,
    Tell jokes, dance,
    Share my philosophy of life over a glass of beer,
    Exchange niceties, letters.

    She looks at me.
    She smiles,
    She reads beyond the artifice of my smile,
    She knows that hiding behind the jokes, the dance,
    Sunk into the beer and coloring the philosophy
    And unwritten in the letters
    Cowers a forgotten little boy
    Madly in love with her
    Afraid of the distance,
    Afraid of time,
    Afraid...

    She knows,
    Willing to forgive the unforgivable
    Knowing there is nothing to forgive,
    Willing to love through the impossible
    Knowing there is so much love to share,
    Willing to wait,
    Knowing for sure that there is a maybe...

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Letters, Two...

    Do I fear your thunder,
    Your slashing claw penetrating my chest
    And cutting through my entrails looking for the heart,
    Do I fear your fire,
    Your storming armies crashing down my castle's walls
    And ravaging my fleshless body with endless streaking arrows?

    No. I fear not.
    What I fear... is your pain.

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Letters, Three...

    You lifted your hand
    To touch my face,
    You tried...
    Air,
    Empty fragrances filling up your cupped palm
    Sifting through your fingers, uncontrollable
    Like memories of me,
    Fading into the daily city hum,
    Petrol fumes,
    And telephone bills.

    You screamed,
    Nobody heard you but you screamed,
    Your fists punching tiny holes in phrases your mouth formed
    Bringing about raised eyebrows from your listeners
    So used to your blinding brilliance
    And unperturbed smiles,
    Grimaces,
    So unlike you.

    Legends,
    You closed your eyes,
    Looking at me with fairies' words
    Creating realities the way they should have been
    In worlds where there is no past, no memories,
    No regrets,
    Only fairies, unicorns, lovers.
    We.
    A legend.

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Airport Memories...

    Thousands of people,
    Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit,
    Hundreds, ok?
    Doesn't matter, I am alone...
    Rushing to the planes, flooding the shops,
    Eating, drinking, smoking...
    I am alone.

    Just a pen, a piece of paper for company,
    A bunch of memories doubtful in their veracity
    Chasing each other merrily,
    Blindly,
    Trying to seduce me with a fixed unblinking stare
    And build a past out of disconnected crumbs,
    Vision snippets,
    Dream flashes stolen from dreamless nights,
    Build a future maybe?
    Memories of a future to come...
    Wouldn't it be magnificent to remember my tomorrow?

    Why do you stare at me?
    Are you a crumb off my past,
    A vision snippet, a stolen dream?
    Are you a memory reaching back from a distant tomorrow
    Begging me to believe in your reality?

    Your fingers touch me, they are cool... so odd...
    I remember fire, I tell you,
    Why are your fingers cold?
    You remember true, you say,
    You remember yesterday.
    And you are tomorrow and tomorrow is cold?
    Oh, no, tomorrow is fire, yes, I am tomorrow, I know.
    And your fingers? I ask.
    You hesitate, a memory hesitating to remember,
    Then you touch me again,
    I wince in pain, it is hot, the burn sign on my skin swelling,
    I am your memory, you say,
    Your choice,
    Yesterday or tomorrow,
    Cold or hot,
    Sometimes you remember wrong,
    Sometimes you forget,
    Sometimes you refuse to believe
    But you can never deny me, I am your memory.

    I start, reading the words I laid down on paper
    Unknowingly,
    Bewildered,
    Did I dream it all?
    And then I know, I remember,
    My tomorrow, my choice,
    My life to come,
    Is the fact that I smile reason to believe I like it?
    No. It is reason to believe that I believe in it.

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Miles...

    The miles,
    Once so short, I see them swelling,
    Insignificant distances become measurable,
    Inches become yards,
    Words lose their power as whispers need be shouted
    Changing shared intimacy into incoherent meaningless rumble.

    I reach out
    Testing the distance with a phrase,
    Then several phrases,
    Then a poem,
    Measuring the distance by the intensity of the echo,
    Is there an echo at all,
    Are the tiny vibrations I sense sign of departing mountains
    Or pure noise emanating from a non returning answer
    Lost... or never voiced?

    I sit down.
    I will wait.
    I know my physics,
    I will close my eyes waiting for the miles to shrink again to inch size,
    Then to nothing size,
    Then to nothing.
    I don't have even to open my eyes.
    I keep whispering
    Words, phrases, poems,
    And when I hear my whisper returning
    I will know she is back.

    If I don't hear, you ask?
    Well, by then I will probably not have to open my eyes anymore.
    You see, by then I will be beyond caring.

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Lady K...

    Lady K, your blue of eye,
    Desert's lonely piece of sky,
    Jails behind its silken bars
    Passions deep as mountains high,
    Bleeding scars.

    Lady K, your red of blood
    Painting sun's ascending flood
    Claws its way inside your tears
    Streaming like volcano's mud,
    Burning fears.

    Lady K, your white of wing,
    Pure like mountain's icy spring,
    Soothes my craze inside your nest
    As you hug my golden ring
    To your breast.

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If You Knew...

    Miss you days and miss you nights
    Miss you wrongs and miss you rights
    Answer not my puzzled frown
    Answer not my rusting crown
    Vanquish depths of fading fears
    Vanquish depths of crawling years
    Enter proud a life's main door
    Enter proud awaiting shore
    Tell me when your smile is lone
    Tell me when your love is gone.

    Come and knock upon my gate
    Come and make me share your fate
    Hover soft and touch my brow
    Hover soft inside my vow
    Ask me when I up and go
    Ask me not of things you know
    In the depths of ever more
    In the years of endless score
    Miss you days and miss you nights
    Miss you wrongs and miss you rights.

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Sons Of...

    Inside of garden's broken fence
    I saw you feeding sons of dog,
    To magic lands of no pretence
    I lost you.
    Whence this blinding fog?

    Amidst of forest's fallen trees
    I saw you feeding sons of deer,
    The call of sweet enticing breeze
    You followed.
    Whence this steaming tear?

    Behind of window's tarnished pane
    I saw you feeding sons of man,
    Your smile I tried to paint in vain,
    You're fading...
    Whence this fear... you can?...

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Smilin' Rose O' Winds...

    Take my money, take my gold,
    Take my ring of age untold,
    Take my diamonds counted three,
    Never take my horse from me.

    Sunset red merged sunrise white
    Fierce a mare of footstep light
    Copper mane through coal black eye
    Roaming wild the mountain's sky
    Till with early morning's dew
    Rides my way the tameless shrew.

    Sweating rump craves for my hand,
    Angry hooves my shoulder brand,
    With mischievous equine charm
    Glinting teeth rip half my arm,
    Flaring nostrils touch my chest...
    What's that neighing rising west?
    When she bounces way from me
    Ever mine, and ever free...

    Take my honor, take my pride,
    Take my joy an ocean wide,
    Take my dreams high mountains three,
    Never take my dog from me.

    Moonless black merged snowball stain
    Fierce a bitch of devil's grain
    Ploughing scars down shiny bone
    Drilling gaze hard river stone
    Depth of forest out she comes
    Growling death around me hums.

    Hanging tongue attacks my face,
    Begging paws my caress chase,
    With mischievous canine charm
    Curling colts rip half my arm,
    Rubs against my legs the beast...
    What's that howling rising east?
    When she bolts away from me
    Ever mine, and ever free...

    Take my reason, take my heart,
    Take my soul to rip apart,
    Take my life ten years times three,
    Never take my mate from me.

    Wheat field gold merged fathoms blue
    Fierce a woman hot of brew
    Dripping honey long of drop
    Spitting fire rich of crop
    Holds my path this blinding gleam
    Magic born of wildest dream.

    Gliding hands raise torments deep,
    Brushing lips long fingers creep,
    With mischievous feline charm
    Shining pearls rip half my arm,
    Snuggles close against my mouth...
    What's that laughter rising south?
    When she tears away from me,
    Ever mine, and ever free...

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Versi Simplissimi...

    This debate
          may be above
          hate and love.

    Those who hate
          love... above
    They may love
          hate... debate

    Or perhaps
          above the hate
    They prefer
          to love debate

    While they do
          debate the love
    Letting linger
          hate above

    In this world of
          love and hate
    There's a rhyme
          above debate

    Let us keep above
          the love
    And debate...
          just hate.

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A Drop Of Magic...

    Above my head a tiny cloud...
    Whence born its thunder mighty loud
    As fore my eyes it turns to drop,
    So strangely proud?

    I gaze inside the grain of rain...
    Amid a wide and barren plain
    A waving hand beckoning in,
    Am I insane?

    I try to find a hidden door...
    The drop has soaked into the floor
    The waving hand fading and gone
    Forever more.

    I watch the drying stain aghast,
    One instant's magic... then it passed,
    I'll never know what might have been
    Tomorrow's past.

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Lilac For Me, For You A Rose...

    You said you're lost inside my love,
    The garden's grown a bit too wild,
    Red gaping wounds adorn the walls
    And chilling breeze of perfume mild
    Disturbs you, child.

    You said the paths have grown too wide,
    Alien flowers freshness rife
    Of strident colors loud of mouth
    Are waging war in mindless strife,
    You're sad, my wife.

    You said my hand has tended weed
    While buds from red to yellow fade
    And glaring sun burns desert stains
    Amid the beds of broken shade,
    You cry, my maid.

    Just tell me word, and bare of hand
    I'll rip all roots beneath, above,
    I'll mend the walls and plough the paths,
    Torn bleeding flesh my tender glove,
    For you, my love.

    Just pray my eye, and drops of blood
    Will paint the seed's short dreamless doze,
    And as it soaks away my life
    Will burst, will sprout... my eyes will close...
    Lilac for me,
    For you a rose...

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Cool...

    I pull my hand back, frightened,
    For a moment I touched you
    Then I found out it is the cool of steel
    Fitting so warmly in my palm,
    I pulled my hand back, frightened.

    I stopped counting at thirty two.
    Days, not years.
    First day was usual,
    You probably forgot, or busy.
    Same second day,
    After all you live your life, I live mine.
    Third day I felt uneasy,
    After ten days I knew,
    I did not have to consult my inbox anymore,
    It was not going to come.
    Your last mail was the last I received,
    No other is going to be the last.
    What was it you wrote there?
    Not even a hint, your voice so cheerful,
    Promising. Then quiet. No more.
    I don't even wonder why,
    What good?
    It is over.
    Was it there at all, ever?
    Fire, passion, promises...
    Was it there at all?

    I pull my hand back, frightened,
    For a moment I touched you
    Cool, warm...
    I stretch my fingers again,
    I want to touch you, curl my fingers around you...
    So cool... So warm...

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Once Upon...

    Once upon a time
    You begged me for a smile,
    If blue as teardrops in your eyes
    If long as long's the Nile.

    Once one early spring
    You read my rhyme aloud,
    And mixing sigh with whispered verse
    You wove a silken shroud.

    Once my garden's floor
    I paved with words for you,
    With kites attached to flower stems
    Revelling in the dew.

    Once I was a king
    My kingdom was your heart,
    Proud vowel knights on poem's land
    Obeyed my humble art.

    *

    Once upon a time,
    Once one early spring,
    Once my garden's floor,
    Once I was a king.

    *

    Yes, once upon a time
    I begged you for a smile,
    My eyes of tears are barren now,
    My soul is bare of guile.

    Yes, once one early spring
    I read your rhyme aloud,
    I learned to cower in my skin
    And hide from sight of crowd.

    Yes, once your garden's floor
    You paved with words for me,
    A chilly breeze now whips my brow
    Through cracks no others see.

    Yes, once you were a king
    Your kingdom was my heart,
    My wish obey, I beg of you,
    My heart do take. Then part.

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Poetic Ends...

    I often wondered how the end would look like.

    Poetic promises changing into literary sentences,
    Sentences changing into randomly disconnected words,
    Words disintegrating into their basic components of
    Vowels, consonants,
    Of impeccable calligraphy and meaningless reason
    Like exploding pellets from a shotgun with no independent mind of their own
    Screeching the way broken pebbles would grate between teeth
    Before sinking indifferently in the flesh
    Cutting veins, heart, life...

    The end,
    When the only meaningful message left
    Hides undecipherable inside the twenty six letters of the abc...

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Colors Mill...

    I danced with a woman,
    Her feet on the ground,
    I was floating,
    Her eyes closed,
    I was looking behind her eyelids
    Straight into her dreams,
    Black and white
    With stains of forest green wherever I dared touch them.

    I sang with a woman,
    Her mouth smiling,
    I was echoing her smile,
    Her eyes closed,
    I was roving free inside her garden
    Stealing apples from her hidden trees,
    Green
    Painting them pollen gold with the calligraphy of my rhyme.

    I made love with a woman,
    Her body giving,
    I was robbing her of her heart,
    Her eyes closed,
    I was gulping mouthfuls of her body's flower
    Looking for the cherries,
    Gold
    Turning blood red as she helped my mouth pick them up.

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Inspired...

    From words unborn I drank the sound,
    In lands unknown I touched the ground,
    Through dreams undreamt I reached the sky,
    In virgin's bud uncouth and shy
    I breathed life... The butterfly
    Can die...

    On dewy lawns I lay my head,
    Wild rosebush thorns my tender bed,
    Against my ear a robin cries,
    Clear steaming stream of melting ice
    Rolls from my heart... Its thunder's vice
    Just dies...

    Inside a book's old crumbling walls
    A broken verse through pages crawls,
    In vain its search for mating bride,
    The years have slowed its reaching stride,
    One mighty roar... With fading tide
    It died...

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Icicles...

    I have millions of tears left,
    Happiness tears,
    Stored some undefined place, hidden,
    Waiting for the dam to be broken
    Before flooding the valleys, the oceans,
    Feeding salt to daffodils, and lilies, and roses...
    Did you know that flowers thrive on the salty trail of happiness tears?
    I wonder, will I be seeing the desert blooming in their wake?

    I have few pain tears left,
    So few... I wonder, don't remember shedding them,
    Where did I spill them,
    Could it be they hide in between the lines, the words, the rhymes,
    Did I write so many poems
    Or maybe they hide also in between the verses of my unwritten poems?
    Or in the dreams I don't remember?

    Icicles,
    Cold breath freezing the tears before they reach my cheeks,
    I don't know, are these the few pain tears I still have left
    Cowering away deep in their windowless burrows
    Yet unable to resist the urge
    Or the countless happiness tears eager to burst out at a price of freezing death?
    Poor tears,
    Powerless against the fearsome cold invading their life
    As I lean forward trying to recover some warmth from my dwindling sanity
    Allowing the beautiful icicles stretch against their will
    Till my body cannot carry the weight anymore
    And finally tumbles down to its interminable death.

    My last irrelevant thought being
    Will I hear the sound of breaking ice
    Before fading away knowledgeable of abandon and unknowledgeable of reason?...

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Your Number...

    You are not my number one
    Not my sun,
    My waiting gun,
    Not the path to heaven's gate
    Not my mate,
    My poisoned bait...

    You are not my number first
    Not my thirst,
    My body's burst,
    Not the flowers' boundless field,
    Not my shield,
    My life repealed...

    When I'm crumbling sad and lonely
    You are there, my number only...

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Going Am I...

    Going am I,
    Don't you cry.

    In the wake of parting May
    Whilst your dreams with flowers play
    Run wild memories astray.

    Down your secret depths of heart
    Hide my touches, hides my art,
    Does it hurt my sunken dart?

    Every sunrise, time you wake,
    Drops a tear into the lake
    Built of endless shapes of ache.

    Every sunset, time you dream,
    Drops a smile into the stream
    Flowing down your silent scream.

    Gone is May, and autumn's deep
    Lulls your memories to sleep,
    Sweet's the sorrow, and you weep.

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Pinocchio...

    You opened the crate,
    Pulling out shrieking nails from the humid wood,
    Nail, after nail, some you had to break,
    Layers of dust disturbing your vision
    As you persisted in the effort,
    Sweating, cursing, never giving up,
    One last rough point, a cracking sound,
    The cover coming off...
    What is hiding at the bottom of this strange, origins unknown, box?

    You picked me up from inside,
    Looked at me with a questioning eye as if deciding to burn me or repair me,
    Then your mind set, you laid me down on your work table
    And started working on me.
    The simple things first -
    Some oil inside the creaking joints,
    Some chipped parts replaced with new ones,
    Chiselling some rough points and then smoothing them over with glass paper,
    Fixed a new valve to the pump in my chest
    And replaced so many cogwheels in my brains
    That you may have as well replaced my full head.
    But you did not want to replace the head. Neither the pump.

    You looked pensively, hesitating,
    Playing god has advantages,
    It has drawbacks, risks,
    The risk of falling in love with your creation,
    The risk of your creation betraying you.
    You picked up the brush, dipped it in colors and started painting,
    Giving yourself the time to think, to decide,
    The brush laying out layer after layer of inexistent colors
    Mixed specially for me with the tip of your tongue
    And the dripping honey of your eye,
    The colors soaking into the wood masking away the pallor of the skin,
    The blandness of the expression,
    The transparency of the liquid silently sleeping inside the pump.

    You turned me over, your moment of hesitation gone,
    You ripped away the wings from your shoulder
    And before the pain had the time to set in
    You attached them to my shoulders
    Lifted my head
    And blew life into my wood with one long unending kissing breath...

    You stepped back, almost frightened at your dare.
    Watching.
    I opened my eyes,
    Blinding light forcing them tightly shut immediately,
    Then slowly I opened them again,
    Looking at my surroundings
    With the curiosity of a new born
    And the lust of an awakening toy,
    And falling in love with the first human my eyes set their regard on,
    You,
    So soft, so gentle, so loving.
    I love you, I said.

    Fly, you said, fly and try your wings,
    Try it to the treetops.
    Why don't you have wings, lover?
    I asked wondering.
    You hid your bleeding back and just kissed me silent.
    I tried a few flaps and it worked,
    The more I tried the more it seemed to be working,
    I tried to reach the treetops, made it, picked a leaf from the topmost branch
    And offered it to you like a flower.
    You kissed it and let it fly in the first album page of a rolling breeze.
    I tried again, leaving your dwelling for the hills,
    Picking leaves from higher treetops, other colors, other fragrances,
    Each time flying back to you and offering them to you,
    Singles, bouquets, forests,
    And each one found its way into your album and the album was getting bigger
    And thicker,
    And the breeze was turning storm...

    One time I put my arms around your middle and tried to pull you up with me,
    But I could not lift my body off the ground,
    I flapped mightily, desperately, but the wings could not carry us both...
    You laughed, you unclenched my fingers from your waist and pointed to the sky,
    Fly my lover,
    Search the mountains, search the clouds,
    Search the moon...

    I kissed you and flew to the mountain top
    And brought you a flower of ice which melted on your heart
    And dressed your breast in snowflakes beauty,
    I kissed you again and flew to the clouds
    And turned back with a flower of raindrops which cooled the fire in your heart
    And dressed your breast in steaming rivulets,
    I kissed you a last time and flew all the way to the moon
    And brought you a flower of silver rays which painted a sunset on your heart
    And dressed your breast in desires of sunrise.

    Wait, you said, where are you flying now?

    But it was too late,
    The power of the wings, the inebriation of conquering the heights...
    I flew up for days, for weeks, months,
    Drunken with the beauty,
    Alive with the glory,
    Farther, farther,
    Imagining I hear sounds calling me... where are you,
    Where did you go, come back...

    Imagining and flying on and on,
    Nearing,
    Getting there,
    Touching the sun... and falling in love with the sun...

    How long have I dwelt in the blinding desert?
    Roving in and out the miles long eruptions,
    Diving into molten hell and rising unscathed,
    Protected by my ignorance while wearing sun's corona to my head
    And letting the sun pamper my desires for its unending consuming fires?
    Was it days, was it nights, was it years?

    One day I played hide and seek,
    Hid behind Saturn's imposing body
    And suddenly the icy shadow froze the bubbling rivers running cross my body
    And reflected the blue of a long forgotten world...
    Oh, I suddenly cried in anguish,
    Lost my way and lost my mind and lost my life,
    Closed my eyes, rushed to the sun, stole a flower of fire
    And soared mightily down to an awaiting unknown.

    You were at the same spot, not even seated,
    Waiting,
    Not a tear in your eye... did they all dry away?
    Not a sigh on your lips... did your voice lose its way into silence?
    The snowflakes on your breast back to ice,
    The steaming rivulets back to rain,
    The sunrise desires back into shapeless knots of silver rays...

    I fell on my knees, my head bowed,
    My hands stretched forward,
    The offerings weighing heavily on my muscles and dragging my arms to ground.

    I...
    I brought you the fire
    To sow in your breast
    I brought you the dagger
    To plant in my chest.

    You...
    I gave you wings,
    You learned to fly,
    I gave you life,
    My turn to die.

    I...
    The haze of the valleys
    To see in your eyes,
    The poison of sorrow
    To strew in my skies.

    You...
    You learned to fly
    And touch the dawn,
    Your freedom take
    And I be gone.

    I...
    Tomorrow's emotions
    Adorning your day,
    Tomorrow's deceptions
    Decanting my way.

    You...
    I gave you life,
    You reached the sun,
    Your glowing love,
    My morrows none.

    I...
    Wild magic of pleasure
    Will fire your life,
    Wild gasping in terror
    Will ripen my strife.

    You...
    My turn to die,
    Your turn to soar,
    Your only dream
    I be no more.

    You touched my brow, wiping my sweat and touching it to your lips.
    I gave you wings,
    You learned to fly,
    Flight is freedom,
    Freedom you love.

    I shivered, the warmth of your voice freezing my heart.
    Take my wings,
    Waste my knowledge,
    Chain me to earth,
    You I love.

    You picked my chin up,
    Touched the tip of my nose with your forefinger and waited.
    You don't lie, you smiled.

    I stayed bowed,
    My right hand still offering you the flower of fire for your breast,
    My left hand still offering the steel dagger for my heart.
    You took the dagger,
    Cut off one feather,
    You took the fire and burned the feather,
    You took the ashes and blew them over my eyes,
    You kissed my eyes and drank the ashes,
    You laid down and you fell asleep.

    Wake up, I wailed, wake up...
    But you didn't wake up.

    I lay your head on the thick album tome,
    And the hurricanes raging inside
    And the scattered leaves crumbling to forgotten memories.

    I picked up the flower of ice and your breast looked pale,
    And the flower of rain and your breast looked deserted,
    And the flower of silver rays and your breast looked bare
    And the flower of fire... and your breast looked lifeless.
    I jumped off the cliff and started flying,
    Days away, months, years maybe...
    Past the mountains, past the clouds, the moon,
    Into the sun,
    Dropping each flower to its home,
    Dropping into the sun,
    Burning, burning, burning...

    One day I will be back.
    And rip the wings off my back,
    Burn the feathers to ashes,
    Blow the ashes over your eyes
    Kiss your eyes and drink in the ashes,
    And then whisper the ashes back into your breath
    Watching you waking up softly to my life.

    * * *

    I woke up with a start
    Shaking the dream spiders crawling around my mind,
    The long wound along my spine aching fiercely.
    I looked besides me
    At the white naked back
    Curved like a pale half broken pearl,
    My finger tracing lovingly the barely healing trace
    Running from your shoulder blades
    Down to a waist
    Thickened by the growing life inside your body.

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Miss You...

    Miss you,
    Miss your smell,
    The one I'll never know
         As you wake up in the morning
    Your flesh soaking in last night's pleasures you refused to shower away
    Preferring to let your body bathe disrepectfully in passion's tide
    Till morning light will wash it into a memory,
         As you yawn and your mouth radiates a musty cavern's tinge
    Just before the commercial magic of modernity
    Wipes reality away in a cloud of artificial mint flavors
    Which is nothing but a camouflage to your body's truths,
         As your morning's relief of night's accumulted body refusal
    Drowns me in its acrid haze
    Telling me you exist just a few feet away from me
    Ready to let me absorb your life's fragrances any future moment of your life.

    Miss you,
    Miss your sound,
    The one I'll never know
         As water runs over your body
    Cleansing the many paths running from the shameless tops of your prideful femininity
    Down to the soft depths of intimate crevasses
    Relighting scantily a few sparks ready for suicide under the harsh neon light,
         As stiff nylon fibres grate against the ivory refuged in your mouth
    Pulling away skin leftovers just one night old
    Peeled away from some forgotten body parts now growing a fragile crust
    Continuously breaking away as I try to move,
         As a howling electrical dragon blowing its fierce scalding breath
    Dries away leftovers of raindrop imitations from your dripping hair
    Telling me you exist a touching distance away
    Ready to let me hear your life's songs any future moment of your life.

    Miss you,
    Miss your sight,
    The one I'll never know
         As your image paints itself inside the door's inelegant frame
    Glistening with a few forgotten beads parsimoniously strewn over your skin
    And blinding me with momentary reflections
    Of innocuous rays abundantly enveloping your body,
         As you pick up the lace garnered silk
    And hide teasingly slow inside its folds the players of last night's luscious games
    Parading before my eyes with make belief innocence
    The promises of all nights to come,
         As your face approaches mine
    Your crossed eyes poorly imitating a mathematical multiplication symbol
    Telling me that you exist within one breath's whisper away
    Ready to let me regard your life's colors any future moment of your life.

    Miss you,
    How many senses did I miss mentioning?
    No, wrong, not two...
    Do you really know so little of me
    As to miss the millions of senses through which I miss you
    Making my life miserable
    In this unending happiness called...
    My love for you?...

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Freedom?...

    Take your whispers,
    Lock them into each other, whisper to whisper to whisper,
    Add a few powerful sighs, some devouring smiles,
    Keep adding wishes and dreams and caresses
    Till the chain is long enough
    To attach to my ankle,
    The other end in your hand,
    And drag me through every chamber in your life.

    Who needs freedom?
    Make me a slave to your eternal desire
    And let me wallow in the knowledge that freedom will never come.

    Freedom is for people.
    I... am lover.

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Someone Departed...

    Cupped my hands to collect your breath,
    Some smiles,
    A few words you meant to say but didn't,
    Poems you will forever intend to write,

    A sealed bottle imprisons the last of your skin's smell
    Moments before you screamed into submission
    And moments after,
    Your thumbprint on the mirror... how do I collect it?

    I stole a strand of hair while you were sleeping,
    Dipped it in your sweat
    Cut my finger and let the salt burn into my wound
    Finding easily its way to my heart,

    I licked your lips,
    Then placed the taste on the back of a stamp
    That one day will be stuck to the letter
    That one day you will be surprised to receive...

    Grabbed for the sound of the closing door
    And locked it away with the rest of the treasures
    Left floating behind your departing shape
    To torture me into unending death...

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Butterfly...

    That moment of madness...
    A splinter off time,
    With sunlighted meadows
    Reflecting in slime,
    And lullaby wonder
    Devoid pearly chime,
    And red hearted cherries
    Depth bowls wearing grime.

    You came. You touched.
    Was it your little finger?

    Bright sunlighted meadows
    Are dancing with shadows,
    Soft lullaby wonder
    Calms storm's waking thunder,
    Wild red hearted cherries
    Steal kisses from fairies,
    And madness off time
    Slowly melts in the rhyme.

    Metamorphosis.

    And shadow turns blue,
    And thunder turns coo,
    And fairy turns you.

    Butterfly.

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The Play...

    The stage is set...
    Deafening silence
    Drapes the audience.
    He kneels enchanted before her,
    A slave to her hungry soul...
    She wipes his moist brow with
    The edge of her velvet gown...
    He smiles lovingly true of heart,
    The bows his head before his queen.
    Her eyes seem empty and hollow...
    There is no window to her soul.
    The voices whisper...
    "She will betray him in the end..."
    She reaches for the steel sword
    And pulls it swiftly from his grip.
    Thick warm blood gushes onto the stage,
    And his screams of torture echo far beyond
    The thick curtains and dark hallways...
    Thunder roars while the sky illuminates
    A magical golden sparkly light...
    The gate at heaven's door has opened
    To receive the woman who gave all
    For a clandestine forbidden love...
    A beautiful white dove has perched
    Its self upon his bloodied shoulder...
    The steel blade was precise and cold...
    He holds her for one last time...
    The audience is sobbing with him...
    Neither heaven nor hell could have separated them... Only she...
    He begs her not to leave him and asks her
    Why, why?
    She dies... Never knowing...
    And the stage is set,
    For an ending that shall never be...
    And the dove cries mournfully
    For a little girl who was afraid
    Of the dark... Afraid of the unknown...

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I Love You Ways...

    I love you from where I do not know,
    Or from when it came or why.
    I love you with such closeness than when
    You touch your heart I feel my hand,
    And when you close your eyes I fall asleep...
    I love you with the morning dew on babies' breath,
    And the driving rain that pelts my window pane.
    I love you when all things are impossible
    And the hope for tomorrow seems lost and alone.
    I love you when I look restlessly into your eyes,
    Yet you are not here, nor have you ever left...
    I love you when the words unspoken are louder
    And I know it is then that we both listen...
    I love you when the pain is constant
    And there is no relief in sight...
    I love you because you let me love you
    The only way that I know how...
    I love you when together we unfold
    Openly and free to be who we must.
    I love all the different curiosities in you
    And each of them makes me a better woman....
    I love you because I know in my soul,
    You will ride with the torrent winds
    To conquer mighty adventures and
    Fly with the heart of a fierce dragon...
    But you will always return to me...

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Wings...

    "What are you doing here?" I asked
    "I am keeping you alive" she said.
    She? I never quite paid attention to angels earlier.
    Come to think of it, I never saw one
    So I wondered aloud...
    "Are all angels female?"
    "You mean women" she laughed.
    "Why do you think I am an angel?"
    I looked at the heavy bandages circling my chest,
    The big red stain soaking through against my heart.
    "You said you are keeping me alive."
    "Yes, I could be a doctor, a nurse,
    I could be your wife, only you forgot about me..."

    She could, maybe she could not.
    I looked at her attentively,
    A youngish smirk on her lips,
    A barely visible flame leaping deep inside her irises...
    "You could have been my wife,
    You are not.
    Why are you not?"
    "Why do you think I am not?"

    I tried thinking back,
    One day earlier
    One week earlier,
    No recollection, blankness, void.
    She went on, not waiting for me to refreshen my mind.
    "Angels are all kinds of...
    Male, female..."
    she laughed shortly.
    "Or kids, cherubs as you call them.
    Even animals, all they have to do is apply for the job..."

    She laughed loudly this time.
    "Sounds almost like a business, doesn't it?..."
    I didn't laugh.
    She halted, looking at me in a way I could not define,
    There was something special in that look, why?

    "How do I recognize an angel?" I asked
    Just playing for time,
    Maybe I will remember something.
    "Oh, this is very simple,
    You see, angels have wings.
    Some have white wings,
    Some have black wings,
    But all have wings."

    "Does it matter the color?"
    "No, they are all angels,
    It is just a matter of fashion."

    Now it was my turn to laugh.
    Fashion, angels have fashion...
    And only two colors?...
    I almost rolled off the bed laughing
    And she held me back to stop me from falling...
    The fire... oh, the fire where she touched my skin
    "... the fire where you touched my skin..." I gasped
    Looking at the red spot with the single tear boiling underneath the blister.
    "Does it always hurt when an angel touches a human?"
    I asked, forgetting the pain, forgetting the pulsating fire.
    "No" she answered, sadness clothing her smile.
    "Only when..."

    I was suddenly impatient,
    I had enough talk of angels and fashion
    I wanted to know what I am doing here,
    Where is my yesterday
    Why this dressings around my chest
    Why this oozing red
    Why angels at all?
    I asked her.
    She answered.
    "You fell in love with me,
    You were dying,
    Your heart was bleeding incessantly,
    I had to make you forget,
    To mend your life
    To save you.
    I saved you, I made you forget your love.
    I made you forget."

    She was right,
    I did not remember anything,
    I did not remember love
    Or death,
    Pain,
    I simply did not remember anything.
    Was nothing better than death?
    Maybe it was.
    Why was my heart bleeding? I pursued my interrogation.
    She smiled again,
    She looked sad, she looked relieved.
    "Because you and I were not meant to be.
    There are earthly regulations,
    There are celestial rules,
    They cannot be broken
    Nor escaped from.
    We fell in love
    And my desire for you sunk deep roots in your heart
    Growing stronger and meaner by the moment
    And the more I needed the more you wanted me to need
    And the more I was sucking your blood into my veins
    The more you yearned for feeding me your life...
    The more we were breaking the rules...
    The more you were dying."

    She touched my brow with her lips,
    The fire of the touch did not frighten me this time,
    Did not hurt.
    "I had to save you
    And the only way to save you was to make you forget,
    To pull my roots out of your heart without your notice,
    To let you go,
    To let you leave, to let you live,
    To leave
    Without you hurting.
    You see? Because I love you.
    Do you love me?"

    I looked at her,
    A stranger, maybe an angel,
    Claiming to be an angel,
    So what?
    I did not know her,
    I did not care for her,
    I did not love her.
    "No, I do not love you" I said unblinking.
    No line of pain in her eyes,
    On her face,
    Only an incredible pallor
    And long shapely nails sinking in palms drawing thin trickles of blood.
    "I am glad" she said.
    "Now I can leave, now you can live,
    The last of my roots are out,
    Your heart will mend,
    You forgot."

    She stood up.
    "I am glad that I could erase the unforgettable from your mind.
    I am glad for the memories I carry
    I will never come back to pain you again.

    I am glad I saved you
    Because I loved you.
    Because I love you."

    She turned to go. She turned to fly. She opened her wings.

    I gasped.
    "You said white or black..." I heard myself muttering.
    She didn't look back.
    "Or mine..." she whispered.
    "Only mine. You painted them."
    One strong flap and she was in the air.
    "With words. While you still remembered..."

    The buzzing blinding life in her wings pierced my mind
    With an insane view of wildly flittering butterflies battling for supremacy
    With furiously waving flowers drowning in a sea
    Of frantically wavering rainbows reflecting from a desert built
    Of endlessly rolling shards of broken tinted glass...

    She flapped away.

    Memories...
    Memories...
    Invading... unforgettable... unerasable...
    Waking up... you were mistaken angel... unforgettable... unerasable...
    The burning charcoal we let our souls roll through
    As our minds devoured each other's fabric
    And our bodies danced to the roar of dragons' flare music...
    The invisible roots still sunk in, clinging at heart's giving walls...
    You were mistaken angel...
    As she flapped further away
    The pull getting stronger,
    The memories sharper,
    The tense clinging root yanking, tearing, ripping...

    And I smiled as I saw my heart breaking through the protective garments,
    Steaming red pouring freely out of its crushed chambers
    With bits of fast decaying flesh spreading away from me
    While I sank slowly into the bliss
    Of receding pain
    And eternal forgetfulness...

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Presents...

    Alone with my soul and one dim lit candle
    I stare at the wall in dumbfounded animation...
    The clock is ticking away, losing precious minutes,
    Where have the moments gone so far away?
    Are they cocooned in another space of time?
    Will I know them when it's the hour of truth?
    So many questions to be opened like presents
    Secretly wrapped under the tree at Christmas.
    Sometimes it's better just to look at them...
    Bright foiled paper with matching ribbon and bows
    Tied with perfection... leaving the emptiness a mystery,
    Concealed, until who knows why
    It's then the human oddity takes over...

    The not knowing can be so dreadfully thrilling!
    You stare at them carefully examining them from a distance,
    Stalk them like prey just before devouring,
    Then you remember... and step back hiding in the dark.
    You might open them to find nothing but disillusionment
    But then you... you never disappoint me...
    I giggle like a little girl... trusting unconditionally,
    I untie the ribbons...

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Weapon...

    Is the weapon that conquered your deserts,
    Sowed your fields
    And painted your forests,
    Chased your dragons
    And set fire to your sun,
    Gave you life...

    Is this the weapon piercing your heart?

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Blue Eyes...

    Blue Eyes as your blue spark glows
    Burning holes through morrow's fate,
    In my heart the desert grows,
         Sweetest mate...

    Blue Eyes as your blue salt streams
    Rolling into crystal pearl,
    In my heart the desert screams,
         Sweetest girl...

    Blue Eyes as your blue ink dries
    Blotting screens of yester's life,
    In the desert my heart dies,
         Sweetest wife...

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Never Been Times...

    I wish I'd sing of have been times,
    Of yawning snowdrops' waking chimes,
    Of smiling hills
    When daffodils
    Are wedding light in sunset rhymes.

    I crave the pain of memories,
    The fleeting touch of morning's kiss,
    The closing eyes
    When late goodbyes
    Melt in the warmth of early bliss.

    I miss the never happened fore,
    An endless hug on crystal shore,
    An eerie sight
    When dawning night
    Explodes like stars encrusted ore.

    The never was, the has not been,
    The maybe if, the ache within,
    I'd rive my heart,
    I'd wipe my art
    For one sole night of your sweet sin.

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Storm...

    Like a cyclone of sudden and savaging fury
    Demented of senses and mindless of jury
    You're lynching my landscapes and flooding my burrows
    Along my defences deploying deep furrows,
    My mountains to rubbish, my rivers to dust,
    My steel crumbling swiftly from luster to rust,
    I cringe in my shell for the ire to pass
    My shield a thin whisper of satin and glass,
    A bellowing thunder in rush for my heart...

    Then quiet... a smile ripping darkness apart,
    Your storm is departing, the sudden blind rage
    Decays to a rustle asleep in a page,
    As growing blue patches your skyline adorn
    In each of my teardrops a rainbow is born...

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