Hobbies - Poetry - Anonymous
Dialogue...

    He -
    I taught you love's soft magic way,
    Trace fires down heart's bubbling clay,
    In thunder hear wild horses' neigh,
            - you taught me pain.

    I taught you dream's forbidden bay,
    December trade with smiling May,
    In passion's claws be willing prey,
            - you taught me pain.

    She -
    Your love I made my only reign,
    Wild horses roam my heart's domain,
    Your pain I'll own, and you retain
            - my years' bouquet.

    Your blazing dreams my nights have slain,
    In passion's May I smile insane,
    Give me your pain, and here's again
            - my years' bouquet.

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Forgiveness...

    Yesterday the eagle's soar,
    Yesterday the lion's roar,
    Yesterday the flooding pain
    Laying waste my heart's domain,
    Yesterday... dies fury's pride
            by your side...

    Yester night the burning grip,
    Yester night the clawing whip,
    Yester night the raving beast
    Gulping sun's emerging east,
    Yester night... dies fever's clutch
            at your touch...

    Day today the burning lips,
    Day today hot fingertips
    Day today across my chest
    Branding deep from east to west
    Day today... like scorching sun,
            we are one...

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The Likes Of...

    Not the big ones,
    Don't want to invoke the sun.
    The sun, the moon, the stars,
    Thunder and lightning,
    Roaring seas and soaring dragons...
    Not this time.

    I want to call upon the small, the daily.
    Like the smell of freshly baked bread,
    Gently sifting into the nostrils of a starved man
    Right before he sinks his teeth in for a first bite.
    Like the wagging tail of a month old puppy,
    Proudly regarding his first exploit
    After peeing on the thick Persian rug.
    Like the blushing teenage girl with the red ribbon in her hair,
    Kissed for the first time
    And rushing home to tell mom about that disgusting boy who dared.
    Like the warm embrace of his six month pregnant wife,
    Smilingly greeting the dirty miner on the house threshold
    Then guiding his prickly face and coal black hands to touch her belly.
    Like the snowdrop's first daring attempt at facing the winter's cold,
    Shaking courageously the hanging icicles from its petals
    And opening to the world its fragile perfumed heart.

    Like you.
    The likes of you.

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Words, Wounds...

    guised in dress of burning word
    lies in wait a hungry sword
    letters forged to razor edge
    chained in cryptic velvet pledge
    watching whisper's icy grain
    shakes the mists my waking brain
    slowly fingers curl to fist
    from its sheath the steely beast
    snatching high above my head
    great the rage and none your dread
    as you paint a humming tune
    scenting seasons set in june
    and your fingers satin tear
    and your chest to kisses bare
    and your skin to touching crave
    when in sudden passion's rave
    flashes weapon's mighty sweep
    fingers five it plunges deep
    in a breast so soft and frail
    slicing heart's forgotten trail
    cobalt eyes melt down to ice
    red and pain with darkness splice
    and you gently float to ground
    bleeding love with not a sound...

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Tunes Eight...

    fay oh fay, fay oh fay,
    way away, way away,
    sweet of lips, sweet of lips,
    dreamland's deeps, dreamland's deeps,
    do you know, do you know,
    dearest doe, dearest doe,
    that the days, that the days,
    pass in haze, pass in haze,
    that the nights, that the nights,
    pains claim rights, pains claim rights,
    that my heart, that my heart,
    breaks apart, breaks apart,
    that my life, that my life,
    needs you wife, needs you wife...

    *

    fay oh fay, fay oh fay,
    way away, way away,
    sweet of sigh, sweet of sigh,
    blue of eye, blue of eye,
    smile in bloom, smile in bloom,
    wild perfume, wild perfume,
    soft of skin, soft of skin,
    lust and sin, lust and sin,
    in your mind, in your mind,
    be so kind, be so kind,
    in the glade, in the glade,
    be my shade, be my shade,
    in my past, in my past,
    be my last, be my last,
    by your side, by your side,
    let me glide, let me glide,
    let me lie, let me lie,
    let me die, let me die,
    i will bet, i will bet,
    you forget, you forget,
    none the blame, none the blame,
    none the name, none the name,
    fades the star, fades the star,
    heals the scar, heals the scar,
    gone the woes, gone the woes,
    gone the rose, gone the rose...

    *

    fay oh fay, fay oh fay,
    way away, way away,
    when in may, when in may,
    you will sway, you will sway,
    on the porch, on the porch
    under scorch, under scorch,
    of a sun, of a sun,
    like no one, like no one,
    look around, look around,
    for the sound, for the sound,
    for the smell, for the smell,
    for the spell, for the spell,
    as from low, as from low,
    glitters glow, glitters glow,
    as from high, as from high,
    secrets sigh, secrets sigh,
    as from yond, as from yond,
    shadows bond, shadows bond
    till you see, till you see,
    i and me, i and me,
    haunt and dream, haunt and dream,
    tender team, tender team,
    round your legs, round your legs,
    craves and begs, craves and begs,
    round you breasts, round your breasts,
    moments rests, moments rests,
    round your neck, round your neck,
    tracing trek, tracing trek,
    round your lips, round your lips,
    huddled sleeps, huddled sleeps,
    and you know, and you know,
    then will go, then will go,
    ever way, ever way,
    bye oh fay, bye oh fay...

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Pop'lar...

    laddie laddie boy
    sad as sad as joy
    fever fever ice
    timid timid vice

    told i was i was
    words and buzz and buzz
    smiles and sweets and sweets
    tears then treats then treats
    oaths and trust and trust
    flares of lust of lust
    worth are none are none
    touch then done then done
    then my reign my reign
    is the pain the pain.

    woman woman girl
    pebble pebble pearl
    whisper whisper tune
    winter winter june

    when i claim i claim
    love and flame and flame
    tell you i you i
    pierce my eye my eye
    through my soul my soul
    rip a hole a hole
    cleave apart apart
    chest and heart and heart
    if i lie i lie
    let me die me die.

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Tiny Heart, Tiny Love...

    Is that tiny heart of yours,
    Hidden hind forbidden flesh,
    Beating through the bony mesh
    An unrivalled verse in Morse
            bold and fresh?

    Is that tiny love of yours,
    Guised in brazen words of lust,
    Grinding with its eager gust
    Reason walls and patience doors
            thin to dust?

    Aren't tiny love and heart,
    Through a magic known to none,
    Greater than the mighty sun
    Welding lives a world apart
            into one?

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Passing Time...

    Passing time away from you,
    My favorite way, the only way,
    Writing to you.

    Thinking,
    What would I prefer,
    Writing to you or making love to you.
    Hesitating.
    How could I know,
    I've done one all my life,
    I've not done the other all my life too...

    You're smiling,
    I know you're smiling,
    You're thinking... come into my arms renegade lover of mine,
    Come into my arms
    And once there
    There's no hesitating anymore,
    You'll wish time turn to rock,
    World turn to desert,
    And us turn to first of Eden's dwellers...
    You keep smiling, your nose high in the sky...
    No, not even that,
    You'll know time has turned to rock,
    World has turned to desert,
    And us we're Eden's first dwellers...

    Passing time away from you,
    My favorite way, the only way,
    Writing to you.

    Thinking,
    What would I prefer,
    Writing to you or making love to you.
    Hesitating.
    You've strewn doubts into my spirit,
    Your crooked smile disturbs me,
    Shall I accept what I know you're thinking
    And tear down the tattered pieces of paper carrying my messy writing,
    Close my eyes and fade into the nothing world
    Of promises, dreams, desires,
    Empty of all else?
    Is it what you're thinking
    Or is it my miserable interpretation
    Stained by fogs of uncertainty
    As I hide my tearful eyes in your bosom
    And wipe my nose on your crumpled skirt?

    You're smiling,
    I know you're smiling,
    You're pulling my ear to your mouth
    And while your finger plays along my lips
    Your words pour a river of fire into my soul...
    Come into my arms renegade lover of mine,
    Come into my arms
    And once there you'll find
    That your words are the fuel that feeds my life,
    The flowers my hands are full of,
    The sparkle dazzling my mornings on grey stormy days...
    Come into my arms
    And once there
    Carve your words into the marble of my body,
    Weave your words into the tapestry of my heart,
    Paint your words on the canvas of my eyelids...
    Come into my arms
    And once there remember
    That I'm your art and your creation,
    That the fire in my bone is the word in your mouth,
    That the softness in my breast is the love in your verse...

    Come into my arms renegade lover of mine,
    And while mindless time rams
    The swelling heart's dams,
    And witless sands swarm
    Round passion's wild storm,
    Through Eden's wide gates
    As lovers and mates
    We'll step to the lair,
    In fire and flare
    In thunder of word
    In whisper of sword
    We'll set sky ablaze
    Till end of all days...

    Passing time away from you,
    My favorite way, the only way,
    Writing to you.

    Thinking,
    What would I prefer,
    Writing to you or making love to you.
    Past hesitating. Way past hesitating.
    You smiled. You answered me.
    Both. And all of it.

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Autumnal...

    If I burn, wish rotten hell
    Which will follow that last knell
    To be strewn with autumn leaves,
    As my life through fingers sieves
            - soak that smell...

    If I soar, wish heaven's lane
    Cutting through my human pain
    To bear clouds through naked trees,
    As my breath turns dying breeze
            - drink that rain...

    If I live, wish life's rude glove
    Spares my guileless fragile dove,
    'Cause my way to heaven, hell,
    She has blessed with autumn's spell
            - autumn love...

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Cravings...

    Let your breath engulf me,
    Be the dragon burning my skin with its scorching flame,
    Let me perish in the tormented inferno of ravaging love
    And never let go till I turn black dying crumbling ember...
    Let your word inebriate me,
    Be the poisoned wine pouring down my throat its cutting knives,
    Let me perish in the maddening spasms of devastating love
    And never let go till I lie crippled dying agonizing shape...
    Let your touch devour me,
    Be the savage claw ripping my spirit's sanctity with its obscene desires,
    Let me perish in the scathing terrors of raping love
    And never let go till I shed my bleeding dying withering flesh...

    Let me huddle in your lap,
    Let your breath, let your word, let your touch
    Soothe my agony
    As I smilingly slide into blessed nowhere...

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A Blanket...

    Around you,
    Layers upon layers upon layers of protection,
    Wool,
    Upon steel,
    Upon glass,
    Covering every inch of skin, every strand of hair,
    Every nail,
    Every healing scratch,
    Warmth, warm around you,
    Protecting against people,
    Against world's pretences and nature's disasters and body's weaknesses,
    Opening at a whisper
    Closing at a thought,
    Unseen and mighty,
    Safe,
    Protected,
    Snug and happy and worriless in your cocoon...

    A blanket, around you,
    Burning in the fire while your cool breath mists the insides,
    Breaking under the load while your fragile frame dances inside,
    Crumbling under the pain while your smile paints visions inside,
    Safe,
    Protected,
    While the world falls to drifting pieces all around you...

    A blanket, around you,
    Absorbing your pains and hurting for you,
    Sorting your dreams and dreaming the nightmares for you,
    Swapping its happy moments with your moments of despair,
    Safe,
    Protected,
    Unknowing of the storm outside in your oasis' tranquillity...

    A blanket.
    Wish I was a blanket around you,
    To die, so you live...

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The Edge...

    I found it,
    The edge of the world,
    The end of it,
    Maybe others found it too?
    Maybe...
    They didn't return to tell the story,
    Fell in and still they fall,
    One way street,
    One way chasm,
    Away from all they knew,
    Away from all...

    I looked down.
    Why do I say down,
    Was it down there?
    Is after the edge a down
    Or is it a somewhere
    And more probably a nowhere?
    I looked downwhere,
    Bent as far as I dared and scrutinized it
    Considering
    Is it there that I will find it?
    Is it there that I will find absence of pain,
    Is it there that I will find absolution of consuming desire,
    Absolution of love, lust, eluding passion,
    Fading dreams,
    Woman's touch,
    Warmth,
    Tenderness?...
    Or will I find an eternity,
    An eternity of pain, of consuming desire, of eluding passion?

    I stretched forward a hand,
    Then the other,
    Bent my knees,
    Closed my eyes as there was nothing to see,
    Held my breath as there was nothing,
    Blanked my mind to thoughts of eternity,
    Smiled at my childish conceit
    And arrogant decision to get my knowledge by irreversible trial
    And tensed my muscles for the leap into the bottomless pit...

    Wait!...
    Said the voice,
    And the steel of a tender arm encompassed my chest and pulled me back...
    Wait!...
    And the soft breeze of a forgotten fragrance drugged my senses...
    Wait!...

    I woke up.

    Who are you? I asked on the purple shore of a waveless purple sea.
    Do I dream you?
    Why is everything purple? Where are the waves? Where are people?
    I am child... said the voice.
    I am daughter... said the voice.
    I am the daughter you never had,
    You never will,
    I own this dream, I own these shores and this sea,
    I painted them purple, I like purple, do you like purple?

    Where is the edge? I asked,
    I have dreams, I had enough dreams, I want to know,
    I found the edge,
    Where is the edge, I want knowledge,
    Do you have knowledge?
    I have purple.
    Purple is not knowledge, purple is color.
    Purple is love in my world,
    I have love,
    If love is what you want stay in my world,
    Let my purple touch tear away black pain from your heart
    And build purple memories inside your empty memory banks...

    My memory banks are not empty...
    You don't remember me...
    I never had you,
    I remember pain.
    Do you remember love?
    I am looking for knowledge.
    Do I look for love?
    I do not know,
    I do not exist, how would I know?
    Do you look for love?

    I do not see you, why do I not see you,
    How did you pull me back from the edge?

    I heard a crystalline thin laughter.
    I do not have any answer,
    You have them all,
    You have the knowledge.

    I heard a crystalline thin sob.
    Don't go to the edge,
    You know.

    I woke up.

    Who are you? I asked on the red banks of a still standing red river.
    Do I dream you?
    Why is everything red? Why is the river not flowing? Where are people?
    Where is daughter?
    I am girl... said the voice
    I am friend... said the voice.
    I am the girl friend you never had,
    You never will,
    I own this dream, I own these banks and this river,
    I painted them red, I like red, do you like red?

    Where is daughter gone?
    There is no daughter, there is girl,
    There is friend,
    There is red, I like red, do you like red?

    I want knowledge.
    Friend? Red?
    You always liked red, so I like red,
    Red is love in my world,
    I have love,
    If love is what you want stay in my world,
    Let my red touch tear away purple pain from your heart
    And build red memories inside your purple memory banks...

    How do you know purple?
    You always wanted me your friend,
    I came.

    Too late.
    Yes, you came too late...
    No, you came too late...
    Yes, you came too late.
    Where were you?
    I waited for you so many years, so many places,
    Why were you born so far away,
    Why didn't you look for me so long ago,
    Why did you find me in the wrong place?

    I didn't find you.
    Why did you find me in the wrong place?
    I looked for you,
    In books, in movies, on the school benches,
    I wrote you poems,
    Did you receive my poems?
    Too late.
    I called for you, I cried for you.
    I heard. I am here.
    Too late.
    Maybe. Love is never late. Love is red.
    A rose is red.
    A rose is never late. A rose is a rose.
    Are you looking for my rose?

    Am I looking for your love?
    I do not know,
    I do not exist, how would I know?
    Do you look for my love?

    I see you through a thick milky mist, why do I not see you clearly,
    How did you pull me back from the edge?

    I heard a crystalline thin laughter,
    Maybe I heard it before?
    I don't remember...
    I do not have any answer,
    You have them all,
    You have the knowledge.

    I heard a crystalline thin sob,
    Maybe I heard it before?
    I don't remember...
    Don't go to the edge,
    You know.

    I woke up.

    Who are you? I asked on the pink dry foliage under a never falling pink rain.
    Do I dream you?
    Why is everything pink? Why is the rain not falling? Where are people?
    Where is daughter?
    Where is girl?
    I am woman... said the voice.
    I am wife... said the voice.
    I am the wife you never had,
    You never will,
    I own this dream, I own this dry foliage and this rain,
    I painted them pink, I like pink, do you like pink?

    I want knowledge.
    Where is daughter? Where is girl?
    Was I daughter? Was I girl? Did you love me?
    I love pink,
    Pink is love in my world
    If love is what you want stay in my world,
    Let my pink touch tear away red pain from your heart
    And build pink memories inside your red memory banks...

    How do you know red?
    You always wanted me your wife,
    I came.

    Too late.
    Still time.
    Too late.
    Still time,
    At the edge there is always still time,
    There is no time,
    There is endless time.

    Too late, too late, too late...
    You found me, didn't you?
    You were looking for me so you knew it is not too late,
    Now you found me, the clock starts ticking again.

    No, you found me.
    No, I found you.
    How did you find me?
    You called.
    Did I? I was gazing into the edge, I didn't call.
    You called me,
    I heard your voice,
    You asked my permission to call me and called me.

    I don't remember.
    Of course you don't remember,
    I started filling your memory with pink pictures,
    Pink smells, pink fingertip sensations,
    Pink tomorrows...

    I hate tomorrows, I want today's.
    Tomorrow is today,
    Tomorrow is pink, is love.

    Why did you save me?
    I did not save you, I loved you.
    I loved you since you called me through your black,
    I loved you since you called me through your purple, then your red,
    I loved you since you painted my dream pink.

    You said you painted it pink.
    Yes, you painted it pink.
    Do I love you?
    I know,
    I exist, I know.
    Do you love me?

    I see you as clearly as bright sunshine,
    You blind me, you burn my eyes with beauty,
    How did you pull me back from the edge?
    Since when do I love you?

    I heard a crystalline thin laughter,
    I think I heard it before,
    Did I?
    You see? You have the answer. You own the answer.
    You have it. One.
    You have the knowledge.

    The answer is I love you?
    The answer is I love you.
    The knowledge is I love you?
    The knowledge is I love you.
    The knowledge is you love me?
    The knowledge is you love me.
    You know more than daughter, you know more than girl,
    Is it the world,
    Is the world pink?
    I am daughter, I am girl,
    I am wife,
    This is my world,
    Pink is love,
    I am pink.

    Where is my world,
    Where is the edge?
    I rolled a stone over it,
    I painted it pink,
    Pink is love,
    I am pink.

    Do I love you?
    More than pink.
    Do you love me?
    More than life.

    I listened carefully, stretching my senses to the extreme,
    Waiting for a crystalline thin sob.
    It never came.

    I never woke up.

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Imperfections...

    I found them,
    Many,
    Some small, some big,
    Some hidden under the folds of a garment,
    Was looking for them,
    Hoping to find them,
    I did...

    Wrinkles,
    Some around the eyes,
    Around the corners of the mouth,
    Some on your hands...
    An imperfect tooth, another one,
    Slight traces of hair on your upper lip,
    A few grey hairs that escaped the powerful dye,
    A broken nail...

    Birth marks,
    Didn't know you had so many of them,
    You smiled shyly when I touched them
    Then allowed me to find some more
    Better hidden than the others...
    Some soft spots,
    Not all of you steel and muscles,
    You laughed teasingly when I patted one of the spots
    And punched me in the eye... only an excuse so you could kiss me,
    Then guided my hand back to the same spot so I could caress it...

    Your voice... no imperfections there.
    Closed my eyes and imagined a long tailed mermaid
    Sliding naked under the roar of the waves
    In company of dolphin brothers,
    A transparent winged fairy
    Pulling a multicolored brush
    From one end of the rainbow to the other,
    An aquarelle painting come to life
    Descending from its easel
    And spreading itself across the world...
    Closed my eyes
    Then opened them as fast as I could to chase away the visions,
    No mermaids, no fairies, no aquarelles, no perfection fair or fake,
    Don't want any, no, no perfection
    Except for the perfect imperfections
    Of the mouth owning the voice,
    Of the body owning the mouth,
    So human, so perfectly human,
    So unique,
    Do you know that imperfections are unique?
    So uniquely yours,
    So uniquely you...

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Misapprehension...

    My hand,
    Supposed to caress, to calm,
    Suddenly turning into a vise and closing on your wrist,
    Painfully,
    You winced, reproach in your eyes, in your voice...
    Why? You asked, all I did is tell you I love you...

    Why? I asked opening my palm,
    The uncontrolled spasm over, the distress in your regard drilling my heart,
    The question in your voice soft, undemanding, just wondering,
    I jumped back, the one moment of misapprehension over,
    The blue stain on your wrist visible,
    Your eyes looking for a reason...
    Why? You asked, all I did is tell you I love you...

    I tried to take your hands in mine,
    To ask you to forgive, to forget, to erase,
    You kept looking at the blue stain, then looked at my face,
    Your hand rigid in mine,
    Waiting... for something?
    Wish I had the something you wished for -
    The yesterday, the what if not, the never happened...
    I did not have it, all I had was an unacceptable excuse,
    A request, a promise, a long wait...
    You smiled. Uncertain yet if you should, knowing you want to,
    Hesitating.
    My heart thumping.
    Then slowly your hand squeezed mine gently, warmly,
    Forgiving...
    I love you, you said, all you did is forget...

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Pastorale...

    Lay your head on my knees,
    Let the whispering trees
    Lay a blanket of gold,
    Copper leaves days untold,
    Silver thread weaving in
    Fragile petals of sin,
    Spider thin silver string
    Wedding dew drops of spring...

    Let your eyes claim the peace
    Of a dying storm's bliss,
    All of yesterday's tears
    Diamond studs in your ears,
    Living necklaces rings
    Waving butterflies' wings,
    In the depths of your eyes
    Smiles the sun as it dies...

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Pains...

    I finally know it,
    Thought I knew it, arrogant naïve me,
    Then in one single lucid moment I discovered its true taste
    As reality erased the smirk decorating my face
    Turning it into a pitiful grimace
    Squashing my complete body...
    Pain,
    Oh, terrifying as the blackest of nightmares
    Sinking tenderly its fierce grip into my mind
    And gently letting smooth poison soak into my thoughts
    Ripping apart each and every fibre of resistance...
    Pain,
    Searing,
    As my fingers deserted the warmth of your skin's fields,
    My teeth gave up their bloody quarry
    And my eyes chased vainly a disappearing shape melting into memory...
    Pain,
    As I sank to the cold floor shivering,
    Foam dripping from a numb mouth
    Trying to lock away tastes never known
    And rumbling earthquake tearing to pieces a crippled heart screaming for home...
    Pain,
    As I crouched cuddled in my arms
    Waiting for your drug to invade my senses once again
    And drag my bloodied remains along heaven's flowery paths
    Staining the pavement with my incoherent blessings...
    Pain,
    Fading away,
    As my fingers find once more the searing warmth of your skin's fields,
    My teeth cut deep into the yielding flesh
    And my eyes gaze openly at a sun's shape burning its memory into their blindness...

    Pain,
    Gone like a summer's light breeze
    Giving in to the hurricanes of devastating happiness...

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Seasons...

    Dress in winter my desire,
    Dress in snow my raging fire,
    Dress in grey my rainbow's shine
    Dress in sin your smile divine...

    Carve my agony to summer,
    Carve my heart to master drummer,
    Carve my nightmare to a bliss,
    Carve your sin to riving kiss...

    Let the autumn kill my shiver,
    Let the desert drink my river,
    Let the passion claim my growl,
    Let the sin protect your soul...

    Gone the spring of my ambition,
    Gone the shame of my rendition,
    Gone the dark... my nameless fear,
    Gone the sin... and you are here...

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Flesh...

    Let my fingers' insane raving
    Feed the lust your breasts are craving
    With my teeth traces of blood
    Round them paving...

    Let my bones' steam rolling rumble
    Turn your sighs to madness' mumble
    With a gaping mouth your lungs
    Screaming crumble...

    Let my whispers be the quire
    Softly quenching out the fire
    As you smiling sink in sleep's
    Blissful mire...

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Snow, Snow...

    Snow, snow, melt away,
    Let my pretty flower fay
    Wake its petals to the wonder
    Sun's warm blessing ripe to plunder
    Through the lust of dying day
    Calm the thunder...

    Snow, snow, hug me in,
    Let my passion's raving sin
    Burn my soul from now to ever
    As I rip from womb the never
    And I seed its next of kin
    Sweet forever...

    Snow, snow, let my bride
    Snuggle gently by my side
    On a bed the white of glory
    Smiling past old why and sorry
    With her whispers' fading tide
    End the story...

    *

    Snow, snow, don't you go
    To the lands of ever glow,
    There's a legend old folks tell
    Of two lovers' burning hell
    Mid of heaven's river flow
    Roars the spell...

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Moments Of Infinity...

    Did you see the ocean? she asked.
    Of course, I answered.
    So you are not interested in my lake, she smiled.
    But I am, I said.
    It is small, almost a pond... she looked me up, inquiringly.
    Even if it is a muddy puddle, I answered and took one of her fingers in my mouth.
    Even if it is a small muddy puddle? her eyes shining.
    Even if it is a spit trace on the sand.

    We sat on the shore, leaning against the big wheel of her truck.
    She insisted to take her four wheeler, just in case we may sink in the sand.
    There is no sand here, I remarked, just to get her off my earlobe.
    There could have been, she laughed and kept chewing.
    I looked at the water expanse, anywhere between a lake and a pond and a spit trace,
    Half frozen, the other half too. I chuckled.
    You are making fun of my lake?
    I am making fun of your puddle.
    You insisted to come down here. Why? Told you there is nothing to see.
    Exactly the reason.
    She frowned, dissatisfied, and bit my nose.
    Then sat between my outstretched legs her back leaning against my chest,
    Her disarrayed hair all over my face. I kissed her on the top of her head.
    She took my hand and guided it underneath her shirt and underneath her bra.
    The hot flesh shivered at the touch of my cold fingers.
    Tell me or your hand is prisoner forever.
    Exactly the reason, I repeated myself.
    Because there is nothing to see. Except you.
    You insult my lake.
    I love you.
    Your hand is prisoner forever.
    Can you extend forever to at least a lifetime?
    She turned slowly to face me,
    Her feet around my middle above my thighs,
    And all the time ensuring she makes her threat true.
    Can you extend a lifetime to at least a day?

    The plane took off.
    Tears of rage smothering the view
    As all the lakes looked like diminishing puddles
    Till the invading clouds erased them completely.
    I extended a lifetime to a day.
    I wish I could have done it the other way around.

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Like's...

    I like saxophone, she said.
    I like also peanut butter fudge, and my truck, and Elvis...
    And I don't like spiders and I like squirrels.
    My TV broke today.
    Tomorrow I have to buy another pair of shoes.
    I had to stop the flood somehow, before it took off at another tangent.
    I kissed her.
    She opened big surprised eyes, closing them moments later to sounds of mmmm...
    What about me, I asked her once she gave me back my lower lip.
    You mean do I have to buy another pair of you? Giggle.
    I mean do you like me too?
    No. Serious.
    No? I repeated, a bit taken aback by the serious expression.
    Joke, right?
    No. Serious.
    But you like saxophone, and fudge, and Elvis...
    Yes, true. Not a sign of a giggle. Still serious. Drilling eyes, intense.
    But I don't like you.
    Oh, I get it, I laughed with sudden relief,
    You little weasel, you... got me there for a moment,
    You don't like me, you love me... is that the idea?
    No. Pouting lip, fierce regard, fingers locked on my shirt's lapels
    Almost tearing the tensing buttons off...
    I panicked. That serious regard, I almost cringed away from it...
    I felt like screaming... I opened my mouth...
    Don't... she said, leaving the tortured cloth to place a finger on my mouth.
    Don't... she said.
    I don't like you.
    No, I don't even love you.
    You, I am in love with...

    I closed my eyes. I knew I don't know women.
    I knew she was not a woman.
    She was another species, not yet catalogued. Probably a unique specimen.
    Was I on the verge of a new scientific discovery?
    I opened them again, finding her eyes one inch away from my nose,
    Looking up at me with a crossed regard,
    Almost funny if it was not as ferocious as it was.
    I love you, I whispered, my hot breath almost scorching her eyelashes.
    I tried to approach her lips
    But found it impossible to move against that stiff finger stuck in my chest.
    Care to rephrase it? Demanding. Please? Begging.
    I was lost.
    I knew the paths of hell only too well,
    I mapped the paths of heaven with so much care, yet, I was lost.
    This was not hell, this was not heaven and not even earth.
    Where was I, inside a story maybe? Inside a dream?
    The cross eyed regard never leaving my eyes for a moment,
    Tears welling at the left eye's corner
    Refusing to let gravitation take control of their destiny.
    I closed the gap to half an inch,
    Her eyes still following, not giving up for a moment.
    I am in love with you... I whispered, the message finally getting through to my brain.
    She allowed gravitation take over,
    The ragged track underneath her left eye glittering with invisible salt crystals,
    Her finger finally removed from my chest and the distance reduced to zero,
    Even to minus... I heard her squashed mouth giggle throatily.
    What now? I scolded.
    You are such a sissy... her voice bells rang.
    You mean all this was just a small act?
    I asked with my most self righteous indignant voice.
    She pushed my back against the wall and curled perfect puppy fashion in my lap,
    Her eyes closed.
    I was going to tear you apart, is what I mean... she whispered, and fell to sleep.

    I don't remember the rest of the night.
    There is not much to remember. Just flowing, never ending peace of mind.

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Not The Movies...

    I love the smell of your hair, I told her.
    Mmmmmm... was her only reaction.
    I like to touch your fingers, I told her.
    Mmmmmm... again.
    I wondered what could I say to make her open her eyes
    And get her off the mmmmmm mood?
    Not that I disliked it.
    I like Marilyn Monroe, I told her...
    Grrrrr... well, at least we were getting somewhere.
    ...But I love you.
    The menthe perfumed breath smothered my mouth
    As I was trying in vain to gain access to the normal stinking air.
    In vain.
    She refused to let me breathe anything but air coming straight from her lungs,
    Waiting for me to asphyxiate trying
    Yet not allowing it to happen,
    Those lips selectively mixing into my lungs part oxygen,
    Part perfumed exhaling breeze,
    Almost like in the movies,
    The beautiful girl mouth-to-mouthing the handsome guy,
    And finally marrying him.

    We knew it is not the movies.
    That kiss trying to absorb my life in exchange for hers,
    The fingers digging into my shoulders like hydraulic driven clams,
    The eyes shut tight cowering away from the emerging reality...
    The beautiful girl finally letting the handsome guy go away
    And trying vainly to mend a broken heart. Two broken hearts.
    I wondered... does reality have happy end scenarios at times?
    Is there a Hollywood like studio creating it
    And making it a happy end or a soggy hanky end
    According to some unknown director's whim?
    Or is it the brutal reality of a statistical coincidence deciding on the heroes' fate?

    I felt her fingers' vise suddenly go limp,
    Her body still attached to mine by some unknown fibres...
    It took me several moments to realize that it is my fingers this time
    Digging so strongly into her back
    That she couldn't slide to the ground and lie there expecting me to go away.
    Was it what I should have done, letting my fingers go?
    How could I, I didn't control them anymore?

    I lied, I said, I don't like Marilyn Monroe.
    Mmmmmm... was the soft music answering me.
    I did not lie, I like the smell of your hair.
    Quiet. I listened intently. Quiet.
    I did not lie, I like to touch your fingers.
    Quiet. Did she hear me?
    I go. Do you hear me?
    Is it true, do you like the smell of my hair?
    Yes, I do like the smell of your hair.
    And do you really like to touch my fingers?
    Yes, I really like to touch your fingers.
    Do you like more things about me?
    Yes, I like more things about you.
    Tell me.
    There is no time.
    There is time to tell me there is no time.
    There is no time to tell you the truth.
    The truth? Do I know the truth?
    The truth.You know the truth.
    Is the truth good?
    No, the truth is true.
    Is the true truth good?

    My fingers finally dislodged from the deep wounds dug into her back.
    She did not slide to the ground. She looked straight into my eyes.
    She was patient. She waited for an answer.
    If I came back one year later she would still be there,
    Eyes searching the place where my eyes have been,
    Still waiting for the same answer.
    Yes, the truth is I like more things about you.
    Tell me.
    All.
    She smiled, the soft corners of the wide mouth raising to meet the eyes' corners.
    See, there is time to tell me all.
    No, there is no time to tell you all.
    You told me.
    No, I wish to tell you.
    You will tell me. When you return.
    I will tell you. When I return.
    You will return.
    I will return.
    Is finally the good guy marrying the good girl?
    I hesitated, mathematical formulas clashing in my brain,
    Afraid of the answer, knowing the answer, afraid of the promise.
    The good guy already married the good girl.
    Really? When?
    When you closed your eyes. You were afraid there will not be a happy end.
    You did not look.
    She opened her eyes.
    Was there a happy end?
    Yes. There was. There is.
    I am happy. Now you can leave.
    You believe me?
    Of course I believe you. I am happy. So it is a happy end.

    She was right. Of course she was right.
    She always knew the way to be right.
    I was happy too. She said so.
    Happy people cry, don't they?
    We had our proof.
    Life's studios imitating Hollywood.
    The only problem was just a very minor one,
    It seemed our fingers refused to give in to the brains' commands and separate,
    Funny things, fingers,
    Almost having a mind of their own...

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Time, Crawling, Time...

    Once upon a time there were days.
    Only hours left now,
    Soon minutes,
    What comes after minutes, is there anything after minutes?
    Fantasy heroes, freezing time, building time machines,
    Changing time,
    Then the movie ends, the book's last chapter is done
    And the hero vanishes.
    Short, glorious life, nothing beyond,
    Not even the time machine helps.
    Life stronger than a time machine,
    Time, unstoppable, not even for heroes.

    We huddle together.
    We are not heroes, we just met,
    There were days, an infinite interval,
    It will not end, it will never end...
    Only hours left now.
    We still huddle, afraid that giving up the touch will hasten time,
    It will not,
    Time crawls forward,
    Not faster, not slower, indifferent.
    How do we measure time? No, not by clocks,
    Or sand glasses or sun rotations,
    How do we really measure time
    As we sit huddled together,
    Arms locked, fingers locked, bodies locked?
    We do not measure it,
    We only know when it ends,
    And this is the only measure that counts.
    When arms unlock, fingers unlock, bodies unlock,
    And the three classical dimensions take control and interpose space
    And we start measuring time by inches,
    By yards, by miles.
    By heartbeats.

    We don't count by tears, we don't want to count infinity.
    We count by smiles, we want to count by moments of infinite joy,
    We become heroes of our own fantasies,
    Changing the time, freezing the time until there are days again,
    Never ending days,
    Never ending heartbeats,
    Infinite happiness.

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Parting Lullaby...

    The box dragging its wheels slowly away, carrying inside
    Bleeding hands
    Nails biting deep into flesh unable to control the spasm,
    Bleeding eyes
    Blue oceans smashing away at shores disintegrating into whipping tears,
    A bleeding heart
    Hesitating between the painful thunder and the everlasting quiet...
    A man made noisy box
    Carrying inside God's bleeding creation.

    I kneeled, I screamed,
    Unable to hear my voice in a prayer I wanted to smash against sky's gates
    Ripping them off hinges
    With fingers curled into frozen hooks
    Driven by a maddening pain
    Roaring inside a hollow mind,
    I bent, I huddled,
    Head between knees
    Arms around legs squeezing with mindless power
    The skull screeching at the bone joints
    Happily awaiting that final all liberating crack
    That will send it into eternal numbness...

    The box lost beyond a turn of the road,
    That following emptiness,
    That terrible emerging realization of an end to a life chapter,
    A life chapter... there is no such thing... a life.
    I knew the skies should fall down and drag the world into nothingness
    The life into non existence
    All creation into dispersing dust,
    Did the skies fall down? They did,
    My world into nothingness,
    My life into non existence,
    My creation into dispersing dust...
    Back into the womb,
    Waiting, waiting, waiting for next dawn to come.

    Sleep, my baby, hush and sleep,
    Let the winter's gentle grip
    Snow your heart in frozen pleasure
    Way off bounds and out of measure,
    Let a summer oceans' deep
    Be your treasure...

    Sleep, my baby, smile don't cry,
    Let the winter's lullaby
    Snow the patience in your worry
    Way beyond all tear and sorry,
    Let the summer soft and shy
    Be your glory...

    Sleep my baby, grey of cloud
    Let the winter's magic shroud
    Snow with starlight's blazing shower
    Way from bliss to raging power,
    Let all summers start with... proud...
    You, my flower...

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The Lover...

    I promised you a kingdom,
    And horses wild of mane,
    A jewels studded sceptre
    And nuggets covered plain,
    I promised you the mountains,
    A knee deep roses lane,
    All yesterday's tomorrows
    With sun drops light to stain,
    I promised you the magic
    Of word whispered in vain
    To turn to blooming garden
    Of desert blessed by rain...

    You said - don't want your kingdom,
    Your riches I don't claim,
    No wonders and no magic,
    No horses wild or tame,
    All that I need is freedom
    To lay down at your side
    Into the sun awaking
    Upon your horse to ride,
    All that I need - a promise
    When time will come to go
    My heartbeat and my summer
    Into your chest to sow...

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Invasion...

    Invading me,
    Flashes, sounds, lights,
    I am trying to blank out my mind,
    Impossible,
    I hear fractured laughter intertwined with sighs,
    With words I try to remember,
    I hear silence,
    Twined fingers,
    Twined regards, lips...
    The wooden bench hard underneath me,
    My temporary prison,
    Soon changing to a metal one,
    Then plastic, leather,
    A flying box,
    And then invading space,
    Uncalled for, uninvited...

    You open your eyes
    Blaming the invading harsh light for the reflecting shine,
    Cool morning water on your face masks the flooding rivers
    Alongside irregular lipstick smears guided by an unsteady hand...
    I see you in the mirror,
    Do you see me?
    Guess you do, else why would you smile
    As you sift through your memories' hideout
    Picking up the selected few... all of them...
    Reliving those moments in time forever gone
    And ever present...

    I hear a voice,
    Disembodied, mechanical,
    Instructing me to do something
    Which I hear but don't,
    Deaf...
    An immense urge to hold you, to hug you,
    So fortunate you are not here or you would suffer...
    You object,
    You protest, you would rather be here and suffer,
    You tell me...

    Raindrops crush regularly against the window,
    Competing between themselves, with me,
    I try to let them win,
    Impossible,
    No one can beat me,
    No, not now, not today, not ever,
    Pouring rain... what a pale imitation to life,
    Such a desert compared to the floods drowning my heart...

    Noise, rising to deafening levels, invading every unguarded corner,
    I close my eyes,
    Grateful for the memories,
    For each lived and relived moment,
    For the rain,
    For the never setting sun,
    For the beautiful pain eroding my insides with velvet teeth,
    For the stolen moments from the gods' secret drawers,
    For the fire you kindly plucked from your heart and sowed into mine,
    Untamed, wild, incessantly burning,
    For my breath,
    For my life...

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Calling Names...

    I called you my wife,
    I called you my life,
    The blood dripping heart at the end of my knife,
    A garden in May
    With daffodils rife,
    A blue sunny day...

    I called you my eye,
    My heavenly sigh,
    A queen on a pedestal reaching the sky,
    An angel at dawn
    So humanly shy,
    An innocent fawn....

    You seemed not to see
    My faltering plea,
    Your mind in a world of your own roaming free,
    When... after a while
    You looked up at me
    And called me your smile...

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First's...

    First regard...
    Eyes searching for hidden beauty
    Hind evening shadows
    And lowered eyelids,
    Street lamp reflections dressing dark corners
    With glowing warmth
    While noisy headlights rush by
    Splashing flashes of stolen sun puddles
    Upon the mystery of an unseen smile...

    First touch...
    A fingertip reaching through the enveloping obscurity hesitatingly
    Towards the tingling flesh of a bare elbow
    Underneath a short sleeve's lace,
    Unaware of the advancing hand moving its way slowly
    Ignorant of the moment
    Finger touched finger
    Fiercely clasping the burning skin
    And closing with the brute force of a misadjusted vise...

    First kiss...
    Moist lips half opened
    Blindly probing their way towards the flowery fragrance
    Of opening furnace gates,
    Tasting the soft yielding flesh
    And softly sucking in the pounding hurricane
    As wild emotions take over
    And unknown of rage bites deep into demanding body hunger...

    First...
    Hey, kids,
    That's for grownups from this point onwards...

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Lovers' First Kiss...

    Do you remember that moment long due,
    I picked up the phone... "...oh my God, it is you...",
    The shiver that waited long years in my bone
    Asleep in an arrogant world of its own
    Of sudden alive creeping out to my voice
    Its powerful echo defeating all choice
    As out of the mindless receiver a tune
    Reached out to December with flowers of June,
    Soft words hardly passing the gates to my ear,
    A giggle... a click... an embarrassed ... "...I'm here..."
    "Where here?" "At your door, dearest imbecile fool..."
    My hand smashing back to its cradle the tool
    With fingers but ripping the bolts off the door
    Sharp splinters invading the nails with a roar
    A dimly lit cabin, a nervous "Hello..."
    A few rolling beads forging trails down my brow,
    A dry sounding thump as the door locked in place,
    Your hand on the wheel while my eyes searched your face,
    Eternity frozen few moments of life,
    Sparks glinting in eyes electricity rife,
    The fluttering silence of night's velvet cape,
    Bedazzling perfume of ripening grape,
    My hand inching forward... a will of its own,
    Your half parting lips hind a girl's mocking frown,
    Three inches... then two... then a maddening one...
    A thundering world melting down into none,
    Sweet Eden erupting through blistering lips,
    Devouring sharp teeth cutting long bleeding strips,
    The scorching of breath turning wild screaming hiss,
    The never again taste of lovers' first kiss...

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Q & A...

    I pinched your nose,
    You said "Hello?..."
    I crushed your toes,
    You said "Why so?..."
    I asked "Do you want me to take off your shoe?"
    "This rose..."
    And you winked... "...it will know I love you."

    I pecked your cheek,
    You said "For what?..."
    I tried to peek,
    You said "You rat!..."
    I begged "May I slowly uncover your charms?"
    "You freak..."
    And you laughed... "...you will melt in my arms."

    I hugged your hip,
    You said "Oh, my..."
    I bit your lip,
    You said "That, why?..."
    I pouted "Allow me to visit your bed?"
    "You nip..."
    And you giggled... "...and I'll bite off your head."

    I called you pest,
    You said "Who, me?..."
    I touched your breast,
    You said "Oh, gee..."
    I stuttered "Do you want all of mine, all my art?"
    "Your chest?..."
    And you smiled... "...and inside it your heart?..."

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The Last Day...

    The hardest moment. The last day.

    A week,
    Pulled out from a child's colored fairytales book.
    Starting with a promise
    Carried over by the soft tunes pouring out the radio's oldies station
    As blinking lights and musical beeps accompany each of your moves.
    The rushing traffic carelessly avoiding our isolated island
    Following its mindless race to destinations unclear
    For reasons unknown,
    The muted purring sound of the iron monster underneath us
    Responding blindly with a growl to your graceful fingers' request
    Whenever asked for its well intentioned favors,
    The paralysing tension in the air
    Melting into the forgotten memories sea
    As fingers reached out sliding behind backs
    Gripping each other's body
    And bringing mouths within reach
    Of drinking each other's soul till burning lungs ask for pity...
    A promise made,
    A heartbeat touched,
    A dream weaving itself into reality's fabric.

    A week painted over with the colors of a master craftsman's hand
    As he sketched each day with different lines, different pens,
    Different flavors.
    So simple, so majestic, eternal.
    The forgotten lost trail where we found ourselves one,
    Forever first,
    Time...
    The steaming breakfast we ate on each other's knees,
    Gulping mouthfuls of sweet pancakes
    While drinking eyefuls of warm glances...
    The crammed corner of space in that hidden corner of world where
    Devoured by passion
    We poured into our bodies each other's devastating fire...

    The last day.
    When hands refused to unclasp. Eyes refused to blink.
    Mouths refused to talk.
    Hearts... refused to silence unleashed thunder...
    The hardest moment.
    When you pulled away,
    Your car rolling slowly away yet refusing to part.
    When you stopped. Waiting to recover your sanity,
    To join again a world changed forever
    Yet waiting for your return.
    The long minutes seeing you lost in that big tame rumbling monster,
    Fighting desperately an impulse to rush by your side
    Pull you off that island of your world
    And carrying you into mine.
    Knowing it cannot be done.
    Dreams come true. Fiction does not.
    Pain is real. In all worlds.

    The wheels finally rolling away.
    Carrying you back. Proud.
    Magnificent.
    A queen.

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My Angry Poetess...

    Be the queen who rules the beauty of my desert's howling lands,
    Over wide and shapely valleys flowing rich with finest sands,
    Keep in reign wild roving dune tribes wrestling wind's unending quest,
    Paint the flickers on a night's sky suckling ink from moon's white breast,
    As your molten anger glazes crystal flowers in the sand
    Let it roll, the pearl growing in your fisted bleeding hand,
    As a tear the depth of ocean cuts a trail across your cheek
    Let it shine, the blinding sunlight that your heart begins to leak,
    Clench your roots inside my boulders, sink them deep through gaping cracks,
    Follow down your savage yearning through forbidden fairy tracks,
    Sing each sunset's slumber moments making way for starlight's show,
    Breathe each dawn's life early mornings while your petals wildly grow
    Desert's yellow staining slowly with a dazzling rainbow's tune,
    Be the queen, become the flower, be the dew drop in the dune,
    String your letters long your magic into words of velvet hue,
    Let your anger fade to mercy... then to warmth... to smiles... to you.

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Garden...

    I built you a garden.

    Built... is it the right word?
    I seeded each single flower, each lone shrub,
    Cared for each leaf, cleaned every petal,
    Laid down each pebble along the narrow paths
    Losing their way deep inside mountains I groomed from stone,
    Cupped my hands under summer's rain to carry the water to build your sea,
    Borrowed dying spells from forgotten story tellers
    And planted sun rays stolen from an angry moon...

    Did I build it for you?
    You decided so and once inside
    You shed human clothing from fairy's body
    And naked as evening's sunset mists started running breathlessly
    Afraid to lose even one opening petal's color,
    Rolling pebble's touch, falling sea drop's thunder...
    Scorching lover's caress...

    Your garden, your castle, your wedding vows.

    I kept adding, building, seeding,
    Bridges across rivers raging down green chasms,
    Smells roving round magnificent treetops,
    Sparks lighting unending nights round your hovering heels...
    Your frenzied flights longer, happier, your smiles deeper, wider.

    You were in love. With me.
    This was your garden. Only yours. Ours.

    One day I opened the gates.
    Revealed the secret of the garden's beauty to the world
    And visitors started pouring in,
    Uninvited, noisy, mixing sighs of appreciation with the sound of popcorn...
    You looked at me, reproachfully,
    Your lips smiling, your eyes sad, your heart loving,
    I betrayed our lair, our home, our secret.
    You climbed the mountain top and went to sleep
    Hiding inside the tall undulating wheat field
    Telling me you still love me,
    Telling me you need more time.

    I took the heavy key in my hand,
    I climbed after you panting heavily like a tired horse at end of a work's day,
    Reached your lay and gasping out of breath offered you my rusty key,
    Offered you my deepest colored flower,
    Offered you my roundest pebble.
    Offered you my heart.

    You chose my heart.
    I am still wondering... why?

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Mesage...

    I know.
    I miss you.

    Was trying to find the reason,
    You were trying too,
    You thought I am trying to conquer hearts,
    I thought I am trying to get appreciation,
    How wrong we were,
    Both of us.

    I miss you.
    That is all.
    Terribly.

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Unintentional...

    I touched your scar,
    By mistake,
    I didn't know there is a raw wound underneath,
    Should have...
    You winced in pain,
    Almost cried,
    Looked at me with this mix of innocent blue,
    And accusing red,
    And loving pink...

    You changed, you said,
    You wouldn't have touched my scar earlier times ago,
    You forgot the wound underneath,
    Should not have...
    You were blinded by the bright vague dreams in a world alien to ours
    And you touched my wound,
    Underneath my scar.
    It hurts.

    You didn't cry, you didn't blame, you just said.
    I pulled my hand back, panicking,
    No, I didn't want to hurt you,
    I do not want to hurt you, I love you... I cried.
    Too late, you said.
    Do you really? you asked.
    You changed, you said,
    You wouldn't have touched my scar earlier times ago.
    No, I didn't change, I insisted, try me,
    Ask me how much I love you.

    How much do you love me? you asked.
    I am ready to offer you the stars,
    I am ready to offer you the moon,
    I said.
    You smiled.
    Words, you said, words are easy,
    You don't own the stars, you cannot give me the stars,
    You cannot give me the moon.
    And if you owned and if you gave
    It would mean you want to own me.

    I hurt.
    Try me again, I insisted.
    Ask me how much I love you.

    How much do you love me? you asked.
    I am ready to offer you my life,
    I am ready to offer you my death,
    I said.
    You smiled.
    Words, you said, words are easy,
    I own your life, I will not allow you to offer me your life,
    I will not allow you to offer me your death.
    And if you owned and if you gave
    It would mean you don't love me.

    I hurt.
    Try me again, I insisted a third time.
    Ask me how much I love you.

    How much do you love me? you asked.
    I am ready to offer you my art,
    I am ready to close the gate to the world and leave it open only for you,
    I said. And I did.
    You cried. And you smiled.
    Words, you said, the words of your art,
    You offered me your words, you offered me your soul,
    You gave me your creation.
    You love me,
    you said.
    Now I know.
    Now I know,
    you said.

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Death Of The Fairy...

    Departure

    Oh, venerable fairy, in worlds of gloomy blue
    Your golden dust has settled enslaved by salty dew,
    Your wings so soft and lucid to storm have fallen prey,
    Your rosy cheeks have borrowed a tinge of sweet decay,

    You gasp, your laughter hollow and sadness laden high,
    The whiffs of heartless shadows afraid to touch your sigh,
    Your wand of purple magic has drifted to the ground,
    Your song of waking summer a winter's frozen sound.

    The life of sparkling splendor that once emblazed your eyes,
    The beads your hair adorning like endless fields of rice,
    The crystal studded nail tips that touched to bird its breath,
    So ever slow embracing the greyish hue of death.

    Gone is your prince at sunrise, so many moons ago,
    Your lips a bleeding promise have branded on his brow,
    "Long as the fire's hurting deep in this wound of thine
    The thunder will be sleeping deep in this chest of mine,

    I haven't heard of healing to sickness such I own,
    In sunlight's laughing kingdom such potion lies unknown,
    A fairy's love for mortal... no, lover, please don't cry...
    The ageless law was broken, this fairy... she must die."

    Upon his straining dragon the prince has gone astride,
    "My sweet immortal fairy, my dying fairy bride,
    If sunlight's mighty kingdom knows not to heal your life
    My quest I'll take to darkness, with arm, with bow, with knife,

    Each night my dragon's fury will brand my wound anew,
    Each morn the sunrise glory will touch your lips to dew,
    Long as I'm gone the fire will hurt this wound of mine,
    Long as I'm gone the thunder will dwell this chest of thine,

    If healing gives I find it. If naught through endless days,
    My way your bed of roses will reach through hell ablaze,
    Your side I'll kneel and whisper my soul your weary eye,
    And when your thunder quiets, my dragon slay, then I."

    The wind is howling chilly, long silken dregs so thin
    Bite with a sharp desire to cut the wasting skin,
    The sharp of thorn your body torments to creeping daze,
    The petals shed the flowers, the roses fade to haze.

    "Soft muzzled baby dragons now cloudless skies defy,
    And buds to trunks have thickened and stones to mountains high,
    Thin trickles into rivers are foaming since of long,
    And nest of graceful swallows has grown to mighty throng,

    Oh, prince, oh moons so many you've gone to end of world,
    My body once so tender mid autumn leaves lies curled,
    My naked breast's forgotten the caress of your hand,
    My tiring eyes are counting the grains of falling sand.

    Your ways have you forgotten to withered roses bed
    And other maiden's flowers now crown your handsome head?
    If this my fate be given... then let your wound go dry,
    My thunder let be roaring... just once... then let it die."

    Return

    Through cracking bush-thick timber cuts path a scorching flame,
    Dry blood like crimson daisies to scales hangs with no shame,
    Six arrows deeply buried, five gashes raw and mean,
    Under the savaged muscle hangs claw by thread of skin,

    Forever onward crawling with fearsome bellowed rage
    Its wings the shattered dredges of power stained with age,
    Through endless groaning forests, up mountains rough and tall,
    The pride of dragons carries its helpless human thrall,

    Forever onward crawling through marshes deadly deep
    When wrath of wizards' curses through bone and muscle rip,
    Long frozen icy rivers, across wild desert's storm,
    The beast its human cuddles in pocket soft and warm.

    Forever onward crawling, forever... one more day...
    One sunset, one more morning, one lonesome breath away...
    There... mid the drying meadow, beneath dry petals veil,
    Mid butterflies' old velvet and perfumes long gone stale,

    The touch of death your body has dressed in rainbow white
    Your naked beauty hiding in sleeping rays of light,
    No flutter round your eyelids, no breeze inside your chest,
    Your rigid fingers holding a stem against your breast.

    The beast its heavy body has dragged against your feet,
    Its howl of seeping anguish far mountains gone to meet,
    A prince in broken armor down comes from depth of scale
    His eyes in fever burning, his face the moonlight pale.

    With slow a step approaches the bed of roses dead,
    Brown mud on face three fingers its depth, the flowing red
    Of waking wounds is mixing with crystal clear of tears
    And paths for dirty rivers across his face lines shears.

    "Oh, fairy, wait you promised as long the time will take,
    As long the fire's torture my branded brow will rake,
    As long as I might carry the potion to your ill
    Or else my kiss be waiting before your heart does still.

    I kept my side of promise, return I have today,
    From war one hundred battles and endless fields of slay,
    I served in armies seven, black knights killed thousand score,
    Seed arrowheads my body like ships at stormy shore,

    A dream of hope my banner, a maze my searching path,
    Through dire lands of terror beneath a sky of wrath
    Reached heartless wailing midland of night's unbroken cold,
    For demon's word of wisdom paid half my kingdom's gold.

    His eyes a rippling season of vengeful gruesome fear
    Deep boring to my reason of wish to being here,
    His armies served my anger till day of pay has come
    From eye he shed a crystal the size of rotten plum.

    «Not tear, but drop of poison», he said, «one and no more,
    Die must your fairy lover, day turned your human whore,
    Your anger curb, oh, human, or wage is gone to dust,
    In vault of eggshell matter this drop to guard you must.

    The wizards' laws unwritten by magic be obeyed,
    Your hand which touched the fairy, your hand the fairy slayed,
    When youth and fooldom married for grain of passion's lust
    Tribute your frailth is paying to passion turning dust,

    Your courage, human weakling, is great, your dragon fierce,
    Your will as hard as sunbeams that darkness' kingdom pierce,
    My words carve deep your hearsight fore crawling out of hell,
    One lonely time my telling, one lonely time your spell.

    If love you, fierce and mighty as handle you the sword,
    This riddle you be solving like nursemaid infant's word.
    Death is my trade. You're questing by me so she can live,
    One is the way, none other, for life... you death must give.»

    In smoke and waging thunder the demon's lair has gone,
    Oh, loving fairy wonder of graceful rising dawn,
    Your way I ride my dragon, my heart much torture's nest
    As dreams of crimson laughter paint pains inside my chest,

    Sweet memories assailing my mind with smiling smells,
    The deepest cut of iron fade fore your silver bells...
    I've neared... from daze I've wakened and down to earth I climbed...
    Your promise, oh, you've broken... your life with death has rhymed.

    Your bed... too late? my journey through endless draining haze
    Was punishment for daring a fairy's loving blaze?
    My quest through hell's long havens beneath the barking skies
    A wizard's sneer for fairies adorning human guise?

    Long was my road, your roses my touch turns desert dust,
    Your smile forever buried beneath death's ageless crust.
    Damn wizard, is my wages death side my lover's lay,
    The sharpth of ripping torture by her my only pay?

    Your riddle dark and clueless... one answer... I will know,
    One test... if wrong the answer be cursed and cursed your law,
    If ever darkness after will be my share of life
    My head be lain forever by side of fairest wife,

    And rotten twigs be laying upon the altar's bed,
    And crumbling leaves be crowning my fairy lover's head,
    And shrivelled petals blanket be strewn all round of us,
    And next soft breeze of summer... like gone... like never was..."

    He kneels. Left fisted fingers are squirming back to life,
    His heart over his senses has won the dreadful strife,
    Afraid... yet nestled warmly against the rugged skin
    His wages lies unblemished... a promise... eggshell thin...

    His frozen manner waking his left is flying high
    And crushes like a mountain against his armored thigh,
    With roar of pulsing thunder his chest is storming wild,
    His eyes a flame of anguish, a fearsome prince, a child.

    There, deep inside the rubble of palm upturned to light...
    His right its fingers fury bestrides with insane might
    As softly thumb and finger the shards pull soft of breath
    And crystal drop of poison they touch... if life... if death...

    "Time's here. The riddle's meaning I learned from pain of heart,
    If death the price for living then death is fair a part,
    In demon's magic riddle my faith has come to rest,
    Forgive me, oh, sweet lover, if fail I will the test."

    He stands, the shiny crystal upon your lips to lay,
    A tear of ageless beauty upon a marble tray,
    A trembling hand departing from touch of frozen skin,
    A drifting whisper rising, the morning breeze's twin...

    "My rest of life be counted, the moons I've left to stride,
    The half of it be parted and shared unto my bride,
    The score is not of meaning, be ten, be hundreds on,
    Together we be living, together we be gone..."

    Was this the right undoing, the riddle's hidden door
    Through it the life be swapping the death for moments more?
    Against the dragon's belly he cuddled weary, lone,
    The monster's tender breezing to sooth his tired bone.

    Short shadows getting longer and rolling west to east,
    A freezing night descending, re-birth its daily feast,
    Soft flakes start floating slowly so rich in blinding white,
    Your shape under the blanket wanes sinking out of sight,

    Beyond hidden horizons the splendor goes unfurled
    Unchallenged roves the quiet on dead and frozen world,
    The path before tomorrow runs long with turns unseen...
    A sheath loses its dagger... an eye broods dark and mean...

    End

    A flutter?... soft?... past midnight?... the beast raises a brow,
    The prince pulls out an arrow and sets it to his bow...
    What is this vane illusion approaching way from... where?...
    A butterfly mid winter?... the dragon growls his scare,

    Mid orb of flying rainbows the vision wrong of time,
    Its wings as slow of movement as lover's yearning rhyme,
    Around the crouching figures for moments whirls and twirls,
    Cascade of magic colors like twinkling echoes swirls,

    As mindless as a night moth in search for guiding light
    Beyond the desert whiteness in eerie stumbling flight...
    As mindless?... or as guileless... when slow its petals turn
    And sinks through melting snowflakes, its path a white walled urn.

    Nears prince, the thunder wakens anew inside his chest,
    The blaze of raging colors has touched the crystal's nest,
    The frozen teardrop melting in bleeding hues of red,
    Your lips inhale the crimson, your eyelids snow flakes shed,

    Through cheeks the pink flood spreading, through breasts, through finger ends,
    Its power ever rising with running shivers blends,
    Young buds burn holes through ice pools, your bed turns roses sea,
    The breath... where is it fairy?... the breath to set you free...

    The stem your hand is holding turns supple, bends and curls,
    Thick buds grow into petals, thin knots grow into pearls,
    A thorn... tip sliding softly long naked breasts... so sly...
    Of sudden left breast piercing... a drop of blood.... you sigh...

    Eternity

    Upon a fearsome dragon, upon a once a time,
    A prince carried a fairy, a bride, a dream sublime,
    And lip from lip were drinking the wine of evermore,
    And chest from chest were stealing the heart's eternal roar.

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No Memories Of You I Want...

    I don't want to remember you.
    I don't want memories.
    Memories of kisses softly stolen,
    Hugs forbidden,
    Lunatic escapades under green maned long pathways...
    I don't want answers to questions of "...do you remember?..."
    Nor questions to answers of "...unforgettable..."...
    Unbearable the sweetness of past desires
    Crawling upon my mind with centipede articulations
    Each ending with a sharp poisonous claw,
    Unavailing the words of regret
    Tracing the fountains of unshed tears
    In a vain quest of recognition...

    I don't want to remember you.
    I don't want memories.
    I want nothing to remember.
    I want things to live.
    To hold your hand.
    To smell your hair.
    To kiss your bare shoulder.
    To see you at my side crying at a silly old black and white movie
    While I cry at seeing your pain,
    To feel you hugging the pillow in your dream thinking it is me,
    To watch your face behind a dinner candle...
    To hear you telling me all untold words of love...

    I don't want memories.
    I want life.

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